A leaf fell right on the tip of my left green shoe. It was the
same yellowish brown I had been seeing for the past 31 autumns. I stopped and
glanced at the beautiful color combination. Fall always made me feel brand new;
it was the spring for the buds in me. Something new and exciting was always
expecting me at the arrival of fall. I have been moving around, changing apartments,
cities and now countries for at least 6 years, that packing seemed like an
ordinary activity, mostly like watering the flowers in the garden. I picked up
the leaf and a mild scent of moist filled my nostrils. I remembered Bucharest.
It was the fall of 2012 and people’s spirits needed lifting; being that the
head of the state could not be unseated. A lot of skeptics doubted the
democratic republic, but I was sure that a lot had changed since the fall of
communism. People were no longer afraid now; they had a voice.
After the first month living in a new flat, I noticed some bizarre
sums added to my administration costs. Since the owner of the flat suggested
that she should come and present me herself to the administrator, I thought it
won’t hurt to wait and ask the administrator myself for the explanation on that
given occasion, which arrived soon as I had some problems with the washing
machine that needed to be replaced.
So one afternoon I met with the lady in order to see the
administrator, who had his office in the building next to the one I was living
in. She entered the access code and we were granted the entry. We took the
elevator until the penultimate floor, and then we took the stairs for one more
floor. A queue of three people was nicely arranged in front of an open door. A
desk was stuffed at the entrance and behind it a grumpy frowning man was sitting.
He had the look of a hungry eagle, hovering around a corpse, waiting for the
perfect time to attack, while the victim – a poor old man – was begging for
mercy. I took it that the grouchy man, playing hide-and-seek behind his big
pair of glasses was the administrator, Escu.
“I told you over and over
again”, he shouted disdainfully and his bushy eyebrows seemed to be able to
cause hurricanes, “you need to hand me the water quota until the 5th
of the month”.
“Yes, I know. I’m sorry”, the
old man replied in a squeaky voice. “But, you see, I was away visiting my
daughter for three weeks and …”
“I don’t care!” Escu’s
voice thundered forth and his wide shoulders seem to rise menacingly. “Who am
I, your priest?! I don’t care about the explanations, I care about the quotas.
You have not handed them to me until the approved date so this month you are
going to pay more. Next time, be more careful! Go now, you’re keeping the
others waiting!”
And
that’s when I knew it. The flat owner was not making a courtesy introduction;
she was standing at the courtesy of the administrator. I was shocked to see
that everyone was waiting in line, quietly accepting that others are victims of
this bully, who might also become their bully, too. When it was our turn, I
thought I caught a glimpse of the owner’s shaking hands. I refused to give into
panic. I was an adult, not a child scared to have forgotten the homework at
home and terrorized at the thought of a bad mark.
“This is Ann, my new
tenant”, said the owner in a tremulous voice, “It is her first month here.”
“Ah”, exclaimed Escu with a
honeyed voice.
“Yeah, well, you see”, I
could feel the owner giving in to the fear. “Ann and I have some questions
regarding the administration costs. I mean, they are a little bit high,
comparing to what was declared.”
“I know you think highly of
my services”, replied Escu in a plummy voice, “otherwise, I would have been
terribly offended. Does the young lady have a copy of her ID?”
“Yes, I have”, I stated in
a toneless voice. “Here it is. But before leaving, we would really appreciate
it if you could explain the costs. For example, what are these household
expenses that you included in the list, next to administration costs? For me it
seems like they are the same. Why do we have two amounts for the same service?”
“What are the expenses?”
asked Escu, and I felt his blue eyes burning me down. “You see, young lady, one
of these days you, youngsters, must get it into your heads that we are not as
irresponsible as you and we don’t claim money just for the fun of it. Household
expenses are the result of taking good care of the building in which you are
living.”
“There’s no need to yell. I
can hear you very well from where I’m standing. I did not mean to offend you;
it’s just that the owner and I are entitled to an explanation.”
“Entitled?!” he hissed. “This
idea of democracy has turned you all into fools. Listen here, missy, I do my
job properly and I am not going to have you giving me a lecture about it. I
have been doing this long before you were even born. You, people, should learn
your place.”
“Mr. Escu”, I tried to talk
as calmly as I could, but my voice came out squeaky and brittle. I discourage easily when someone yells at me, and I feared that my weakness was now exposed.
“I treated you with nothing but respect, and the questions I addressed you
don’t question neither your knowledge nor your equity. It is my civil right to
know what I am paying for. No one accused you of wrong doing. We just wanted some explanations.”
“And I gave them to you,
miss”. He sounded like a winner, and the fact that he now called me miss was a
clear sign that he knew I was defeated.
Terrified,
the flat owner went through her purse and pulled out her wallet. While I was
being yelled at by the administrator, she kept her head down. I don’t know if
it was because she felt ashamed that she did not react, or because she was
trying her best not to infuriate Escu. Suddenly, I felt alone. It seemed like I
was mad to even think that this was not the proper way to address a person. And
it got worse. The flat owner took out from the wallet the amount of money to be
paid. I felt small and a strange feeling grew inside of me, like some kind of
weed was growing fast around my neck, suffocating me. I tried to encourage
myself thinking that in a funny way I was witnessing a real-life Tom and Jerry
episode, the one with Jerry’s cousin dressed in a striped black and yellow
jumper. The flat owner would be Tom kissing Jerry’s (Escu) tip of the shoe
whenever he whistled. It wasn’t just as funny, though. Escu was satisfied, he
had just been validated by the flat owner. He was looking down at the money and
counting them. I couldn’t see his sly eyes, but I knew he was enjoying another
victory. He was undisputable.
“Good bye”, Escu answered
the flat owner.
A
slight grin appeared on his face. We were leaving him there, just like an
ancient god, absolutely unattainable. When we turned to leave, I saw that a new
queue was formed. I suddenly recognized the look on their faces. I had seen it
before. It was the “you’ve upset the
teacher, and now he is going to give us bad marks” look. I guess change is
always frowned upon, even by those who would mostly benefit from it. I never
intended to win something out of that confrontation, but I have never expected
to find that the world of adults is also graded. I pledged myself never to
forget that we are as free as we let ourselves be.
I
gently put my other hand on the yellowish brown leaf, and felt its moist for a
while against my closed hands. Such a sweet sensation! I felt a gentle wind in
my cheeks and closed my eyes for a moment. There are no barriers! Not unless we
put them around us. I have never broken that vow, and so help me, I’ll never
will.
