Poseur deconstructed

It was high time I wrote about poseurs. No, I shan’t write about people taking selfies, but about those pretending to be or feel different than shown. The phenomenon has increased lately, and since I have been gathering proofs and excessive euphoria, here below you’ll find my take on the secrets of putting on such an act.

I truly do not wish this to be perceived as judgmental and I surely will not try to put an end to it. This kind of art has been here since before I was born and will outlive me. I merely am trying to fulfil my duties as a writer, being a faithful raconteur of the times I am living in.

There they are, my observations on the various acts:

How to mimic a wonderful experience

Do open widely your mouth and your eyes, and then jiggle your arms. Thus you will be able to send the message that until this moment no such trivial experience has been lived by you before. If your gestures are also accompanied by pompous statements regarding the event, be sure that everyone will believe you.

How to convey the message that you are impressed with a saying

Stay still and put on a poker face. The shock was so powerful that it absolutely paralyzed your body. Then, open your mouth and let out an interjection. The important thing now is the sound; all the people around you will be so impressed that they will ignore if the interjection you’ve uttered conveys the feeling you want to mimic. Don’t forget to bulge your eyes. You know that the eyes are the mirror to the soul, so don’t risk others seeing nothing in them (and thus nothing in your soul). When bulging your eyes, people will see a movement in them and thus a movement within you. Also, try not to have physical contact (a hug or a hand shake) because you might give yourself away.

Errors in a motivational speech

Yes, you are not very convinced yourself about the message you are trying to convey, but you know that you have to utter it. 
‘Repeat. Repeat. Repeat’, wasn’t that a great wise man’s saying?! Then, how would you say otherwise. 
Grown-ups are just like children; the only difference is that they wear suits to work. You also know that they learn by mimicry, so try to be their inspiration. It does not matter what you say to them, the important thing is that you pretend to be convinced of your utterances and to repeat over and over again the same idea. 
People blessed with only one neuron and those who were not attentive the last time you said that, will believe in you and will let themselves be inspired by you. Count on them!

When your mistake was showing that you actually did not care

You ask somebody a question. You wait for the very moment when the person ends their response. You jump and ask something else.

How to laugh to a joke you did not understand or found funny

Open your mouth. Close your eyes and give off the loudest sound. If it’s a little hoarse, you’ll be even more believable.

How to pretend you’re having a great time

You’re pissed off, for various reasons. The discussion/ meeting you are involved in is suddenly over and you start to think that you may leave a bad impression to the participants (even though they seemed to have a good time and they had even tried to cheer you up). 
What do you do? When you say goodbye to them, tell them: thank you, guys, for making me laugh!

How to show how intelligent you are

Knit your eyebrows. The faith of the entire planet worries you. The rest… those who laugh so hard at odious things called jokes or bright sayings… they are all cretins, obviously! You are far superior than them. That is why you never smile or laugh. The whole world depends on you to remain just as you are so that you can save it.

5 reasons why you should read books

I was not always the hungry-for-books person I am now. I had read Vlad, I fell in love with his writing, but then (once I finished everything he had written) there was a time when I did not read much.

I think the strongest impulse came after reading 'The Truth about the Harry Quebert Affair'. At the time, I was casually reading, but this book reminded me of the mirage created by a well-written story. 

After that, I was lucky enough to find a lot of great books and also a lot of crapy books (and here’s how the rule of 100 appeared; if a book does not convince me after reading the first 100 pages, then I go forward to the next one – like the cook in Seinfeld who yelled ‘No more soup for you. Next!’ – for there are so many books to be read and so little time).

When I moved to Germany, my work colleagues (from that time) armed me with the trilogy ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’. I absolutely devoured the books.

Not long afterwards, I found ‘Requiem for crazy people and beasts’ written by Augustin Buzura (a book I cannot cease to recommend), which not only drove me closer to the Romanian literature, but also broke my prejudice regarding the fact that Romanian literature is boring, long and not at all charming. And besides Buzura, you will always hear me recommending Ana Blandiana, ZullyMustafa, Otilia Țeposu, and Ana Barton.

These are just a few of the books that drove me closer to my current love for reading. Who knows, you might find some inspiration as well. One thing is for sure: nothing and no one can make you read more. Firstly, you must want to read, and most of all, the power is within the book. 
Yes, the book. It is powerful enough to charm you, to make you become dependent of the sublime feeling left after finishing a good book.

And because I keep my promises, below are the reasons I was referring to in the title of this post.

1.     Discovery

Whether we talk about new topics or situations similar to what you have experienced, you will be surprised to discover aspects that you have not considered before.

I am truly intrigued by the human mind (I am constantly on the look-out for books that could show me a little more than what I have already understood about the human mind). Maybe this is an explanation to why I love thrillers (where you can check the human mind faced with stress, pressure, frustration, happiness and many more) because a great attention is given to the analysis of deeds and sometimes psyche of the characters.

2.     Conversation

You will engage more freely in conversations. Maybe even talk about different aspects of life, or maybe about books. Moreover, you can make book recommendations – which is not a small thing. Furthermore, your vocabulary will grow and you will surprise yourself with using words that you do not usually use.

3.     Experiencing

I am sure you have heard/ read that many times before. Those who read live just as many lives as the number of books they had read. Besides this, reading a book gives you a taste of a different experience (even though it is not real) that will embellish your hours.

4.     Variety

All literature genres are just as valuable. A wide selection is there for you to check and even the most pretentious can find something interesting to read.

5.     Relaxation

I saved the best for last. Reading makes you feel relaxed. There are a numerous studies certifying the importance of reading if one is depressed. People can thus disconnect from their troubles and take a short break.

For me, the most beautiful moment (besides feeling relaxed) is having the chance to think of other things than what concerns me during that time, and thus being able to find creative solutions. Furthermore, I feel inspired and filled with a sense of well-being due to the fact that I can fly to other lands just by using my mind.

I wish you pages filled with peace and inspiration for your projects!