(translated from Romanian - a place to sigh)
For some time now, I started gathering
reasons for the misunderstandings encountered on my way. And the truth is, no matter
how much I strive against them or even the very efforts I make in order to be
clear, I still find myself in situations that are not as I had planned.
Reasons:
1. People do not listen.
Yes. Even those that do no have one eye on
their smartphone or on their laptops or whatever is happening behind them.
Well, I guess it’s easier to imagine what the person in front of one was
saying than to actually listen.
2. People have lost their patience.
News, task prioritization, telephones that
keep ringing, notifications to meetings that appear on the screen on the exact
moment one is focused and thus loses one’s idea, meetings that last longer than
set, family responsibilities that must be dealt with (especially now that we
work from home), emails. All agitate us and make us tired. Short and to the
point is how the message should be. Otherwise, one loses one’s reader or
listener.
3. People do not care.
This is related to the aforementioned.
What one says must be important or urgent so that people can focus on what it
is communicated. This is not ill-will, but considering the age we are living in,
we must prioritize.
4. People do not read.
This one is related to the first reason. Even
when one makes efforts in order to communicate simply and to the point, the
message does not get through. Some people skim-read. And they decide to
understand whatever idea first came to their minds when they read one's first words.
Solutions
1. In writing – the subject.
If one writes an email, one must also
fill in the idea of the email in its subject. In some cases, these might be
the only words that the reader will read and process.
2. In writing and speaking – be simple.
This is by far the most important piece of
advice for communicating nowadays. Well, one can use the word exhaustive. But
if the purpose of the communication is not to seem scholarly, but to solve a
task, it’s best to keep it simple. Do not forget: people run easily out
of patience, especially when they are not interested in the subject presented.
3. Ask questions.
My experience has taught me that there is
no such thing as dumb questions. Yes, one must overcome the idea that one will
be considered an idiot for asking questions. If it helps, people would consider
one an idiot if they pretended to understand something and actually did the opposite.
Do ask questions! Seriously, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s better to make sure one has properly
understood something then blow it.
Quoting here Alan Alda: ‘If I understood you, would I have this look
on my face?!’
4. Follow-up.
Let’s say one has successfully gone
through all these steps. One was clear and simple in communicating and did not
beat around the bush, and asked questions. Everything seems clear as water. For
both parties.
When the time comes for fulfilling the
task, send a follow-up message with all the details. Yes, you, me, and a couple
of people do know what we promised (apparently, there are not so many people that remember
what they promised). But the rest... Well, the rest processes the information
differently. Again, this is not about ill-will, but in order to make sure that
one’s project is successful, the follow-up is mandatory. It will save you,
actually.
Ok, there may be people that will find you
nagging. My take is that it is better this way than to find yourself in a
situation that blows up in your face.
I wish you a successful communication!
