I've finally cured myself of the obsession with the
two first names I used in my two novels, "The Sewing Club" (check
some details about it here and here) and "Laura-Rise-Detained" (here and here).
If
in "The Sewing Club", Laura and George were secondary characters, in
"Laura Rise - Detained" they became main characters.
There,
I said to myself, I've avenged whatever they needed me to. And I started
writing on my next novel. There's no Laura or George there. But we have a man
named Laur.
Tonight, Nephew reminded me that I owe it
to him to watch Mulan together. Yep, I promised him we'd watch (my favorite) cartoons
together, and I got carried away and forgot. And there's nothing more important
than making memories with one’s loved ones.
Tomorrow, maybe, we perish, and that's
that. And in the end, that's a given, we can't change it and we shouldn't be
sad about it, but how good it would have been to have spent more time together!
I've been watching Pernille series for a
few days. I laughed and cried, and it reminded me that I'm only here for a
short while. And it's nice when time passes for others too, but these others
don't hesitate to tell you that they'd like to spend some of it with you.
That's the gem of our existence, people who want to spend time with you. Stop what
you’re doing and give it, it's the most beautiful thing you will ever realize!
In the June issue of the Argeș Magazine, an excerpt from this sequel was published. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! If you want to browse through it (it's only in Romanian), find the link here.
Find here and here other excerpts from ‘Work Under Scrutiny. Other Typologies, the Ones that Suffer and Communication Solutions' that have been posted on the blog.
The ‘I'm tellin’ the
missus' colleague
The ‘I'm tellin’ the
missus' colleague could pass for a whistle-blower and it wouldn't be totally
untrue. He clearly lacks backbone, respect and common sense, but he knows that
shutting up is not a valued quality at work.
Like many other
categories I've encountered, the ‘I'm tellin’ the missus' coworker is a big
baby. And, sadly, there are many others who don't seem to have made it past
kindergarten level. I have often wondered in recent years how I find so few
adults in the workplace. To explain, by adult I mean a person capable of
responsibility, honesty, pragmatism and a willingness to work well together.
How many adults do you manage to work with?
Another quality of the
‘I'm telling the lady’ colleague is the art of throwing the dead cat in someone
else's yard. As I wrote at the beginning, if you keep quiet you lose ground; so
they will speak up to show how much they want to work and how many difficulties
they find on their way.
Let's see Aglaia at
work. Here's a dialogue between boss and employee.
BOSS: Do you still
send out the monthly email to remind people they can submit content?
EMPLOYEE: No.
BOSS: Why?
EMPLOYEE: I've sent it
five months in a row and no one has ever responded. Then, everyone knows they
can contact me if they have content, and since people keep complaining about
getting too many emails, I figured there's no point in me keep sending it.
CHIEF: Well, it's not
exactly nonsense. Aglaia claims that because the reminder email wasn't sent,
she stopped sending content.
EMPLOYEE: Okay, but
the newsletter is still being sent. She didn't think we were dreaming that
content! In addition, a while ago she asked me what she should do if she had
content and I assured her that she was free to send it to me at any time, then
seeing if we fit to get in that newsletter or the next one.
BOSS: That's
irrelevant. Aglaia told the boss that's why she didn't send it because she
didn't get your email.
EMPLOYEE: Okay, but
that's a childish approach, she just threw the blame around, when she knew very
well that she could contact me anytime, with or without that monthly reminder
email.
BOSS: We need to have
our backs, thus just send it, and that's it.
EMPLOYEE: OK, if
that's what you think is best.
BOSS: Yes, that's the
best.
I wrote at the
beginning that I find it hard to find adults at work. Some behave childishly,
but what is really worrying is that they are also encouraged to behave that
way. Disempowering some people seems to be a new fashionable procedure, while
others are not only responsible for their tasks, but also for these
infantilized people. Again, I find it worrying that I constantly hear managers
complaining that people are not responsibile, that they indulge in
kindergarten-like behavior, passing the task from one to another, without
admitting that they are partly to blame for encouraging or failing to sanction
such childish behavior. Foolishly sending an email to remind people what they
already know is not only counterproductive, but demotivating. And thus the kind
reminder specialist, which I'll write about later, appears.
It is sad to discover
that you have a boss who encourages the ‘I'm tellin’ the missus' behavior. I've
always thought that, as adults, we will take responsibility for our own actions,
but it's already clear to me when I look around that this is true in few cases.
I detest childish behaviors that try to dribble responsibility and, just as
much, that encourage childishness in some, by which I mean bosses who pat some
people on the head to act like children to whom the rest of us are obliged to
show understanding. It really annoys me when I'm told to send a monthly email
with 99.99% identical text just to remind some people that they can do
something and thus infantilizing them, while I'm able to take care of all my
tasks without the benefit of any kind reminder email. It's the
double standards game that I dislike, but also the totally unproductive
approach of some managers who want responsible subordinates but treat them like
children.
‘Work Under Scrutiny. Other
Typologies, the Ones that Suffer and Communication Solutions’ is a book that I
am currently working on and which adds to the typologies mentioned in the book
”The Corporation. Typologies and survival guide" (Paralela 45 Publishing
House, 2024), and also presents the ones that suffer because of these
typologies and tries to come up with communication solutions for all.
After all this time, I can finally understand
what the poor teachers were referring to when, somewhat bored or tired, they
stopped us in our ramblings (often nonsense beside the point) with a You haven’t understood it. Read it again! .
At the time, I thought they were being
insensitive or putting on airs of superiority. Because, after all, why was it
so hard for them to correct us on the spot and show/give us the correct answer?
I found out, rather belatedly, that by doing so, they were not letting us
become helpless, perhaps not even victims of manipulation if you get to keep
doing the thinking exercise with your own mind, and not keep waiting for the
right answer from someone else.
Sometimes, I wish a teacher would come
along and say to me and to others You haven’t understood it. Read it again!. I don't know why, but it no longer seems to me
that what's going on today can be easily explained with a I'm in a hurry, I
need the answer now.
It's a contest of the rested, for many
years now, and I'm often afraid I'll end up explaining how and where to look up
the definition of a word you don't know (I've already had to explain that 12
a.m. is not noon).
So, I don't arrogate anything to myself,
I'm just sharing in the already growing fear (of others) and thanking (a bit
late, admittedly) all the teachers who said You haven’t understood it. Read it again!. Kudos to you!
The wonderful Julian Barnes has delightful stories in this collection. Analyses of the soul made with rare finesse, testimonies, prejudices, expectations,
disappointments, hopes.
Julian Barnes doesn't write, he brings the words together and sets the
tone, and they are sensible to always find their place in our hearts.
A few excerpts to testify to the marvel of Barnes' talent.
‘Well,’ said Jane, trying to hide a sudden
surge of jauntiness, I’ve always believed that writers get more out of things
going wrong than things going right. It’s the only profession in which failure
can be put to good use.’
…
‘Do you read those young men everyone’s going
on about?’
‘No. I think they’ve got quite enough readers
already, don’t you think?’
‘What about the young women everyone’s going on
about?’
‘I suppose I pretend a little more to have read
them than with the boys.’
‘So do I. Is that bad?’
‘No, I think it’s sisterly.’
A quote from him, but from another book - “Books
say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are
explained to you; life is where things aren't. I'm not surprised some people
prefer books.”
― Julian Barnes, Flaubert's Parrot
