I come from...

Since it's been a while since I have not used the metro, I have no Bucharest stories to tell you. Sure, stories can be picked from other places than the metro; a gathering is enough to get me inspired. LinkedIn, though, came to the rescue. There I read a story about a store opening in Dej. And bam! Inspiration kicked in.

While we were living in Cluj, we paid the cost of utilities directly to the real estate developer (it's far too complicated to enter into details). The problem was that we would be dropped on constantly in order to give him cash (which sometimes we would not have on us, given that we had no ATM in our apartment) or he would come while we were not at home. Sometimes, it so happened that we were elsewhere, too far to come back home instantly. His approach was always to ring us whenever there was no answer at the door. When we would tell him we are too far to come back home, he would reply: but I come from Dej.

A couple of times, we tried to explain it to him that it would be best if he would ring us one or two days in advance, so that to avoid unfruitful moments like those. Especially because he came all the way from Dej, it was advisable not to make unnecessary trips. But we could not make him understand. And so, we embellished our vocabulary with the expression: I come from Dej.

Years ago, I was telling former colleagues the 'I come from Dej' story. They laughed, and so I went and told them about the French classes I was taking. They had started to feel a little less interesting since I was interupted by the teacher every time I made a mistake. One of my former colleagues, assimilating the meaning of the abovementioned expression, asked me: so, why didn't you ask her... ma'am, do you come from Dej?

Still thinking about you, my dear Master!

Today, we celebrate 98 years since Vlad Musatescu was born. Let’s honor him properly by reading what he wrote, this time a fragment from ‘Approximate adventures’, the third chapter.

“…

Next day, dolled up in the lightest suit (from a color perspective, and not a weight one) to make sure I’ll raise my dear fellow’s spirits, I was getting aboard. The train. Specifically, in the dining car. There, I found the two, Franz and Titus, in the middle of an Ardeal-like feast (Ardeal is a region in Transylvania) drinking turt (an alcoholic beverage from the Satu Mare region, similar to palinka). They were happily talking as if they were on a trip to Haway.

‘Are you insane’, I tried speaking in an Ardeal-like manner, so to keep the atmosphere, ‘to drink this poison on an empty stomach?’

‘We are! And we also are broke… Meaning, no money at all!’, Munteanu informed me.

‘You should be ashamed of yourself! You haven’t said a word about this illness to me. Well, I’ll fix it!’

And I left looking for the chief of the dining car. When I told him that he had guests that represented the culture sector, he was dearly impressed and assured me that he will give us full support. I took a moment and mentioned the kind of support we needed, some piglet ribs (as tender and fat as possible) accompanied by pilaf and French fries.

In no less than five minutes, the chief came back to our table with the platter. After wishing us to enjoy the meal, he came closer to me and whispered at my ear:

‘Do you work in the small or in the big culture, if you don’t mind my asking? I am an agronomist myself. I work here because it pays much better and I can also see the country, free of charge.’

…”

The Big Secret

Let me tell you a secret. I complain. Yes, I complain. From time to time, I gather all my insatisfactions and things that did not turn out they way I planned, and feel sorry for myself. Oh, nobody's got problems like me (an exact quote from the movie The Odd Couple - if you haven't watched it, now it's high time to do it - when Felix tells Oscar that he hates himself, and Oscar replies: 'Neah, you don't hate you. You love you, you think no one else's got problems like you').

And I can neither blame myself for all of my problems, even though there are theories that support the fact that we attract what is coming our way. No, I strongly and respectfully disagree!
I do not attract people that are afraid even of their own shadow, people that do not understand the importance of a promise, people that step over dead bodies in order to have their purpose seen, people that have anger management issues, people that offend or talk nonsense, people that believe they know it all and that's why they do it all and don't let the responsible ones do their thing (so what if they have experience?! they are all a bunch of incompetents!), people that do not even trust themselves and thus it's impossible for them to trust others...

Seeing things from an objective perspective, sometimes it's a matter of making peace with what one has around and cannot control. One can only encourage oneself with the thought that they have done their share of the deal, and if things turned out differently than expected because one was not permitted to do it one's way, than the guilt must go elsewhere.

Moreover, I also do not agree with the idea 'What can I say?! It's always going to be like this. Wherever I go, I will have to deal with the same issues. I think it's better to stay put and endure, and maybe I could learn something from this situation. It is a lesson I must learn'.
No, this is not a lesson, it's pure madness that will only have one done with their senses, frustrated and never believing that one can achieve something. I'd even go far and say that it is a lack of care for one's loved ones - why would anyone want to subject them to a defeated soul spectacle?!
I guess, most of the times the solution is to burn the bridge that ties one to a certain situation or person that makes one feel stuck. To leave is the best lesson one could ever offer oneself.

Let us not forget that we can control some of the things. It's exactly how Eleanor Roosevelt put it: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Thus, let's complain for it's good to free ourselves from the devils emerged from so many frustrations. Let's complain and realize that we cannot stop some things from happening, and that sometimes we must calibrate our attention in order to move on. Just like in the lyric from this song: 'I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining'.
We will walk in the rain and we will get there, where we need to be. And we will arrive even stronger!