Online meetings – how to speak

I covered a lot of recommendations on communicating in writing, so let’s get further on how we should better communicate when we are live (or on screens).

Things have changed a lot due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and now everyone can be a host for the meetings that we have with our colleagues or managers. They say some are gifted showmen or showwomen, but I truly believe the skill of capturing an audience can be taught.

Here are my tips on how to prepare and how to act during a meeting that you are hosting.

 

Preparation

Since almost all meetings have as support a presentation, be extracareful regarding the content and the way it’s displayed.

Contentwise, try to put the information as simple as possible. Always have in the back of your mind an aunt to address to and thus to check if this would be something that she could grasp (now, far be it from me that aunts are not bright people - I am actually an aunt myself and can’t stop bragging about it, I even own a proud aunt T-shirt – but it’s just so that you position yourself out of experts’ area).

 

Important – brain remember stories, not data. So have this in mind next time you have slides after slides depicting Excel screenshots.

 

Once the content is included, get some help from a picky fellow – be it a colleague or your manager – to help you notice errors (punctuation, typos, etc.) or important topics you might have missed.

 

Your presentation is good to go and, hopefully, you still have some days until the meeting. I like to call this step the display check. It is actually when you start practicing explaining the presentation to the audience. Take some time to get yourself familiarized with all content, but also think about how you can put into words everything that you have to present.

Usually, the content on slides act only as support. You are the one that can make the content turn into a beautiful experience for the audience, adding some explanations to the figures or charts you have on slides.

 

At this point, be observant of your tone of voice, your facial mimicry (look at yourself in the mirror to see if your face expressions are in tune with your message) and the speed with which you are talking. Should you have an important meeting you have to host, you can always ask a colleague to give you a couple of minutes from their time to test with them how would it be (you do not have to show the entire presentation, just 10 minutes will do) so that you know what should you work more on.

From my experience, we tend to be in a hurry. When we are stressed or not used to talking in front of an audience, we tend to expedite things so we can escape the unpleasant situation. This is normal. It’s our bodies telling us we should escape the danger. But hosting a meeting is not like being chased by a tiger, even though the stress we feel might seem at the same level.

To lower your anxiety you have to consider two things: breathe and take your time.

Remember what I mentioned earlier about brain only remembering stories? Well, this should really be considered at this stage. The tone of your voice and how you explain things should be like telling a story – with calmness in your voice and being willing to respond to questions in case people do not understand something.

 

Before the meeting, think again about the fact that you are not in danger, you are simply explaining some information you gathered in a presentation. You worked hard for it, now let people see how well-prepared you are. You deserve it, that is your efforts should be recognized, so do not let nerves get the best of you.

Oh, and so you know, practice is what makes perfect – so the often you try, the more you will look and feel better when hosting a meeting.

 

At the meeting. Well, there it is. You may experience sweaty hands, trembling voice, you’ll misread, misspell, and sometimes you will make unwanted long pauses to find your words, and you know what?! It’s totally normal. What you must focus on is that you need to continue through or despite all of that.

And another point, regarding time, make sure you allocate enough time to answering questions or let the audience interact with you. A meeting should never be a one-way-street, otherwise it’s not productive or interesting, it’s just a meeting that could have been a video.

 

After the meeting. A lot of today’s meetings are recorded so that the information presented could be accessible, at a later moment, to those that could not attend the meeting. If the meeting you hosted was recorded, watch the recording two days after the meeting, at the latest. The reason is that this way you would have already forgotten some of the stress you felt during the meeting, some of the explanations you gave, and it would be easier to analyze yourself. Pay attention to what you could improve regarding the tone of your voice (if you were too low or too loud), your facial mimicry, if the explanations you provided were coherent and in connection to what it was presented on the slides. If you should notice that your voice was trembling or that you had made too many long pauses, don’t beat yourself up. Give it time, you’ll get to the point where you won’t make these errors so often.

 

If the meeting cannot be recorded, on the day of the meeting, ask a colleague of yours to take notes regarding what you should improve. On the next day (yes, you should allow yourself to breathe a little, and also the colleague to gather all ideas for the recommendations), talk with your colleague about what you should consider for a future meeting.

Young at Heart

My nephew knows that I can be described as young and tall.

My friends and family know that I like the color purple and that I love dogs. But most of all, I love suprises. The funnier the better.

Recently, I have been told that I will turn 40. Anyway, so they say. Of course, those that do not usually ask me if I am legally allowed to drink alcohol. I’m fluffing up my feathers (since I’ve been compared to a crane) and keep on smiling.

Puppy yoga

When I saw this poster, at the start of the year, I never imagined I could experiment with this type of session in Bucharest.

But puppy yoga exists in Bucharest too and I was very glad to have been offered the chance to go. I figured that I would not do to much yoga and that I would mostly concentrate on cuddling the puppies. But still, some yoga was done.

At the start of the class, the puppies were going from one mat to the other, stopping for those that seemed to have the most gentle caressing. The most points were won by a participant who put himself on his back and thus two puppies endulged in chewing his ears.

When a puppy would get close to my mat, I would stop and caress it, but then I thought it’s better to leave them wander about since it could be really tiredsome to stop for people to caress you.

And tiredsome must have been, for a puppy stopped at my mat, got into the donut position and didn’t move until we all started to leave. I was extracareful not to bother her (she was a girl named Luna - it means moon in Romanian), even though she did not seem bothered because she was snoring and nor was she disturbed when I kissed her a couple of times on her little head. At the end, when she opened her eyes (one blue and one green), I said my goodbyes with a big smile and grateful for the benefit this cuteness brought me.

The Art of Conversation

I have always found it difficult to initiate a conversation, especially with strangers. When I was little, I remember how fascinated I was with how easy it was for my dad to start talking with anyone, strangers with whom he had to share the time in a waiting room, wagon or, simply, waiting in line.

Most of the times, it was small talk, but other times there was this exchange of jokes, useful or even wonderful information. And when this happened, I was convinced that it is not the worst thing to break silence and try not only to acknowledge the presence of others but also to celebrate it. Then, at the end, to say goodbye like between old friends, being aware of the fact that you might never meet them again.

Breakfast at Rapsodia Guesthouse, in Suceava. We sat at a large table and an older lady was there too. Hearing her talk with the personnel, we realized she was a foreigner, so we greeted her in English, and then silently stood there, waiting for the food to arrive. We exchanged a couple of glances and smiles with the lady, but the silence remained undisturbed. And then, with a simple ‘I’m sorry, I do not speak Romanian, and it’s always sad not to be able to talk with the persons while you’re sitting next to them’, she started the most wonderful conversation I ever had at breakfast, while also giving me a lesson about the art of conversation.

In the past, there weren’t so many ways to beat boredom, so one had to talk with others if one did not carry a book or a rebus. Today, we tend to look downwards even if we do not stare at a screen, while trying to avoid eye contact.

Recently arrived in Romania with a group of motorcyclists, the lady told us about the landscapes and people she met. And even though she was way over 65 years old, she was more lucid and passionate then some youngsters. Her voice had a gentle tone, and she would often smile, while her eyes showed some sparkles that could be interpreted as a hunger for seeing and knowing many more things. Her white long hair had a mid-back length, and she was wearing only one earing, in her left ear. She had been away from home for more than three months and she had crossed many borders, but the one to Romania seemed the most difficult – and this reminded her of a time when people were supposed to wait longer to cross borders and to have papers checked under scrutiny while trying not to give a hint of a smile so not to raise suspicion for the customs officer. She was impressed by the many churches she had seen so far and the fact that there were so many in the town of Suceava. But what impressed her the most was the kindness and generosity of people she had met after crossing Romania’s border. Especially those people that lived in poverty and did not know a word of a foreign language. She smiled while she was deeply moved by telling the story of the time when they were caught in the rain, on a country road. They found shelter for them and the motorcycles under a big tree, by the side of the road. Soon, they heard a voice. They could not understand what they were told, but from the body language of the old woman sitting in front of the gate, they could make out that she invited them inside. They returned the signs, trying to convey that it was ok, that they will wait there for the rain to stop for they did not want to bother her. But the old lady kept insisting, conveying that it was dangerous to remain there for the risk of lightning. So they followed her in a shabby yard, where they were warmly greeted and where they stood until the rain stopped. When leaving, they tried all the signs to show their gratitude to the old lady, feeling sorry that they could not express some of it in Romanian words.

And so it happened that through this lady’s story we also received the present of humanity, when one does not need much in order to do good. Giving from the abundance of what you had received from others guarantees one a place in Heaven, my dad used to tell us when we were little. And yes, dad is right. 

Heaven on Earth

Us, humans, are blessed to find joy in many things, we just have to open our eyes to it. I found, by mistake, the link to this video and my heart overflowed with joy. It got filled with memories, laughter, childhood, with the smell of summer and vacation, with Romanian Radio Station that brought us so much joy (musical, too).

Yes, indeed, heaven is on earth. Let’s run about it for a little while!

Apparently, people now think I am Italian

‘What is your name?’

‘Emilia Muller.’

‘I did not get that. Could you please repeat?’

‘Emilia Muller.’

‘Ah, ok. Can you repeat your surname?’

‘Sure. My name is Emilia and my surname is Muller.’

‘Oh, so Emilia. And the other name?’

‘Muller.’

‘Muller? Oh, so you’re Italian?’

‘No, I am Romanian.’

‘Oh. Strange!’

From trips

I found this jewel, while on the streets of Rome.

Translation from the Italian:

When I close my eyes, I see everything I've seen. There are two ways to see: that of the body and that of the soul. That of the body can sometimes forget, that of the soul always remembers. (A. Dumas)

Obviously

I was listening to a Romanian radio show that had two guests.

The first one presented their new song and concluded with why not?! (that is, concluded with something said in English even though they were talking in Romanian). Which seemed logical enough. Then, the other started speaking, also a musician – ‘yes, I thought it was a great idea to collaborate on this project because obviously…’ (the same situation, all was said in Romanian except for obviously).

And this is where I felt lost. True, it was morning, and I thought that it was why I did not understand or that the second guest had used a musical term I had no idea about. Then, I realized that the guest wanted to be just as cool as the first one; and how can one be cool if one does not use English words among Romanian ones?!

Many of us can no longer speak without mixing Romanian and English (even though some Romanian words can express better what we want to say or are shorter than the English ones). Thank God for those that still make efforts to speak Romanian!

And bravo for the music band Taxi, they saw it coming so well, but I was too young back then to fully understand.