What Are You Grateful For?

I am grateful for my 12-year-old nephew who insists I sit next to him at the table whenever we see each other. And when I take him by the hand, his fingers gently cover mine in a way that confirms that love does not need too many words and the feeling of security is right in this simple touch.

Oh, and I am also grateful for his emotional intelligence. I witnessed so many situations when his way of dealing with certain situations brought my joy and admiration in a way I could never explain.

I think we owe it to ourselves to do emotional gymnastics once every few days. To just stop and think about what brings us joy, what moves us and motivates us to continue with our daily activities. I suggest a couple of exercises:

1. The exercise of gratefulness.

There must be a thing or a person in your life for which you are grateful. Stretch the memory muscle and let yourself be embraced by relaxation.

2. The exercise of joy.

Regardless if you are or not happy in this moment, look towards a moment in the past that made you happy or amused you. Take a deep breath. Laugh as if it would happen to you right in this moment.

3. The exercise of playing hide-and-seek.

Look out of the window to a distant point. Hide your worries behind that point as if it would be a heavy bag that you have been carrying on your shoulders. Then, move from the place you were.

 

Make sure to alternatively repeat the above exercises. But make sure to do it often.  

Every Cloud Has Its Silver Lining

I literally experienced this proverbial saying. And due to it happening, things became easier to consider and to do. The other day, I was listening to Ileana Ciuculete’s song and I resonated so much with the following verses:

Dear chickpea leaf

When I see the time that has passed

I keep saying to myself that the summer to come

I will do everything I want and love everyone.

Now it’s winter and cold, but surely when the summer comes

I will do everything I planned.

I did not wait for the next summer to come to do whatever I wanted. I grabbed the time and did not waste it with making plans. The time is now, the summer is now, and the joy is here.

Clouds

 

When I was a kid, we spent a lot of time in the kitchen with my family. There we had the radio, there the light was better and so my father could sew and patch the things he worked on, there we made the tea and the planning for meals. It was the perfect room. A rather small room, but comfy enough for us to do our things and get together to share the events of the day.

In the kitchen there was also a bed, and I remember my mom trying to convince me to take an afternoon nap while I was in primary school. Somehow, I never managed to fall asleep and often would wake her from her nap because I was constantly fidgeting. Now, I understand and embrace the afternoon nap; but I reckon that happens with almost everyone.

I remember gazing out the window, and no view was better in all the apartment than the one from the kitchen. And I remember the clouds. Those fluffy white things that changed their forms by the second. I guess clouds are responsible for my first daydreaming experiences.

Now, whenever I am paying attention to the sky and notice clouds, it somehow redirects me to the feeling I had as a child. That absolute wonder in front of things so beautiful but transient.

And, in a way, every time I watch their beautiful passing in the sky, I also get a feeling of vacation, of freedom and warmth. We don’t have to wait for a certain date or time in the week to treat ourselves like on vacation; we could enjoy a moment of sheer peacefulness just by looking up in the sky.

Do You Respond with ‘I don’t know’?

‘I don’t know’. It’s simple to say, right?! But still, people avoid saying it.

Sometimes it so happens that a simple and straightforward reply does not reach one when asking a question. And this may turn into a traumatic event; for those impatient, at least. One wishes a quick and simple reply, but the conversational partner starts rambling on.

I have often asked myself the reason why the interlocutor needed to give so many explanations, and I reckon that perhaps I had not provided the conversational partner with information about my expectations or my time availability.

Now, let me be clear - when it comes to information, the more the better. So that, little by little, one gets closer to the reason why one is needed and how one can give support. But when the conversational partner does not understand that one only needs a simple answer, then the hell breaks loose.

Here’s an example:

‘Should we go tomorrow at a restaurant?’

‘I think tomorrow’s going to rain and also the wind will blow and, usually, it is in the morning when I like to water my plants because later in the day it will be too hot, and they will surely die. And I’m not sure, but I guess I was supposed to see Ana, but maybe I can postpone… .’

 

How To Turn Things Around in Your Favor

There, you asked somebody a question and are waiting for the answer. But it comes accompanied by so many words that you cannot distinguish the main message to be understood.

Most of us do not realize that we lose ourselves in details, and that we actually confuse rather than clarify the things. Others feel ashamed to admit that they do not know the answer (did you also meet teachers/ managers/ mentors that taught you to never reply with ‘I don’t know’?) and they will try to give you as many details as possible in order to cover the fact that they have no clue, leaving you to decide which piece of information from all given is what you needed to know in the first place.

I suggest the following solutions:

1. Rephrase

It may happen that the conversational partner did not pay attention to your question, or he/ she did not hear it well and is ashamed to admit it. Rephrasing is one of the most elegant (maybe the most elegant) ways to make sure that both conversational partners’ dignities remain intact.

 2.  Soothe 

To admit that we do not know is to recognize that we are vulnerable, and maybe in others’ opinion even unprofessional. This is why it is so hard to admit that we do not know. 

Use this occasion (during a pause) to soothe the conversational partner and to explain to her/ him that it’s not the end of the world to not have a piece of information. If that person is part of a team, maybe it will be a great moment to stress upon what a team can do (musketeer-style – one for all and all for one).

 

I think owning the ‘I don’t know’ reflects upon one as a responsible and problem-solving oriented person; of course, as long as the person in question takes action to find the information and maybe put to good use the magic that is to have a team and be supported by it.

What about you, do you dare to answer with ‘I don’t know’?

The Best Series

I enjoy watching movies. Maybe just as much as I enjoy reading books. Of course, I also watch series. I already have shortlisted some:

M.A.S.H., Friends, After Life, Seven Seconds, Dr. House, Six Feet Under, Band of Brothers, The Twelve, Unbelievable, How I Met Your Mother, Rome, Broadchurch, Little Fires Everywhere, Gilmore Girls, Line of Duty, The West Wing, Fleabag, Please Like Me

But the foremost series will remain ‘The Wonder Years’ (1988), a series about family, friends and the eternal swift passing of time. Each episode is a small treasure, inviting to reflection. I highly recommend it. It will do wonders for you.

(Picture Copyright)

The trouble with gifts

'What do you want for your birthday?'

'Something beautiful. But don't spend a lot of money on it.'

'Fine. I'll make you some tea.'