I've finally cured myself of the obsession with the
two first names I used in my two novels, "The Sewing Club" (check
some details about it here and here) and "Laura-Rise-Detained" (here and here).
If
in "The Sewing Club", Laura and George were secondary characters, in
"Laura Rise - Detained" they became main characters.
There,
I said to myself, I've avenged whatever they needed me to. And I started
writing on my next novel. There's no Laura or George there. But we have a man
named Laur.
Tonight, Nephew reminded me that I owe it
to him to watch Mulan together. Yep, I promised him we'd watch (my favorite) cartoons
together, and I got carried away and forgot. And there's nothing more important
than making memories with one’s loved ones.
Tomorrow, maybe, we perish, and that's
that. And in the end, that's a given, we can't change it and we shouldn't be
sad about it, but how good it would have been to have spent more time together!
I've been watching Pernille series for a
few days. I laughed and cried, and it reminded me that I'm only here for a
short while. And it's nice when time passes for others too, but these others
don't hesitate to tell you that they'd like to spend some of it with you.
That's the gem of our existence, people who want to spend time with you. Stop what
you’re doing and give it, it's the most beautiful thing you will ever realize!
In the June issue of the Argeș Magazine, an excerpt from this sequel was published. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! If you want to browse through it (it's only in Romanian), find the link here.
Find here and here other excerpts from ‘Work Under Scrutiny. Other Typologies, the Ones that Suffer and Communication Solutions' that have been posted on the blog.
The ‘I'm tellin’ the
missus' colleague
The ‘I'm tellin’ the
missus' colleague could pass for a whistle-blower and it wouldn't be totally
untrue. He clearly lacks backbone, respect and common sense, but he knows that
shutting up is not a valued quality at work.
Like many other
categories I've encountered, the ‘I'm tellin’ the missus' coworker is a big
baby. And, sadly, there are many others who don't seem to have made it past
kindergarten level. I have often wondered in recent years how I find so few
adults in the workplace. To explain, by adult I mean a person capable of
responsibility, honesty, pragmatism and a willingness to work well together.
How many adults do you manage to work with?
Another quality of the
‘I'm telling the lady’ colleague is the art of throwing the dead cat in someone
else's yard. As I wrote at the beginning, if you keep quiet you lose ground; so
they will speak up to show how much they want to work and how many difficulties
they find on their way.
Let's see Aglaia at
work. Here's a dialogue between boss and employee.
BOSS: Do you still
send out the monthly email to remind people they can submit content?
EMPLOYEE: No.
BOSS: Why?
EMPLOYEE: I've sent it
five months in a row and no one has ever responded. Then, everyone knows they
can contact me if they have content, and since people keep complaining about
getting too many emails, I figured there's no point in me keep sending it.
CHIEF: Well, it's not
exactly nonsense. Aglaia claims that because the reminder email wasn't sent,
she stopped sending content.
EMPLOYEE: Okay, but
the newsletter is still being sent. She didn't think we were dreaming that
content! In addition, a while ago she asked me what she should do if she had
content and I assured her that she was free to send it to me at any time, then
seeing if we fit to get in that newsletter or the next one.
BOSS: That's
irrelevant. Aglaia told the boss that's why she didn't send it because she
didn't get your email.
EMPLOYEE: Okay, but
that's a childish approach, she just threw the blame around, when she knew very
well that she could contact me anytime, with or without that monthly reminder
email.
BOSS: We need to have
our backs, thus just send it, and that's it.
EMPLOYEE: OK, if
that's what you think is best.
BOSS: Yes, that's the
best.
I wrote at the
beginning that I find it hard to find adults at work. Some behave childishly,
but what is really worrying is that they are also encouraged to behave that
way. Disempowering some people seems to be a new fashionable procedure, while
others are not only responsible for their tasks, but also for these
infantilized people. Again, I find it worrying that I constantly hear managers
complaining that people are not responsibile, that they indulge in
kindergarten-like behavior, passing the task from one to another, without
admitting that they are partly to blame for encouraging or failing to sanction
such childish behavior. Foolishly sending an email to remind people what they
already know is not only counterproductive, but demotivating. And thus the kind
reminder specialist, which I'll write about later, appears.
It is sad to discover
that you have a boss who encourages the ‘I'm tellin’ the missus' behavior. I've
always thought that, as adults, we will take responsibility for our own actions,
but it's already clear to me when I look around that this is true in few cases.
I detest childish behaviors that try to dribble responsibility and, just as
much, that encourage childishness in some, by which I mean bosses who pat some
people on the head to act like children to whom the rest of us are obliged to
show understanding. It really annoys me when I'm told to send a monthly email
with 99.99% identical text just to remind some people that they can do
something and thus infantilizing them, while I'm able to take care of all my
tasks without the benefit of any kind reminder email. It's the
double standards game that I dislike, but also the totally unproductive
approach of some managers who want responsible subordinates but treat them like
children.
‘Work Under Scrutiny. Other
Typologies, the Ones that Suffer and Communication Solutions’ is a book that I
am currently working on and which adds to the typologies mentioned in the book
”The Corporation. Typologies and survival guide" (Paralela 45 Publishing
House, 2024), and also presents the ones that suffer because of these
typologies and tries to come up with communication solutions for all.
After all this time, I can finally understand
what the poor teachers were referring to when, somewhat bored or tired, they
stopped us in our ramblings (often nonsense beside the point) with a You haven’t understood it. Read it again! .
At the time, I thought they were being
insensitive or putting on airs of superiority. Because, after all, why was it
so hard for them to correct us on the spot and show/give us the correct answer?
I found out, rather belatedly, that by doing so, they were not letting us
become helpless, perhaps not even victims of manipulation if you get to keep
doing the thinking exercise with your own mind, and not keep waiting for the
right answer from someone else.
Sometimes, I wish a teacher would come
along and say to me and to others You haven’t understood it. Read it again!. I don't know why, but it no longer seems to me
that what's going on today can be easily explained with a I'm in a hurry, I
need the answer now.
It's a contest of the rested, for many
years now, and I'm often afraid I'll end up explaining how and where to look up
the definition of a word you don't know (I've already had to explain that 12
a.m. is not noon).
So, I don't arrogate anything to myself,
I'm just sharing in the already growing fear (of others) and thanking (a bit
late, admittedly) all the teachers who said You haven’t understood it. Read it again!. Kudos to you!
The wonderful Julian Barnes has delightful stories in this collection. Analyses of the soul made with rare finesse, testimonies, prejudices, expectations,
disappointments, hopes.
Julian Barnes doesn't write, he brings the words together and sets the
tone, and they are sensible to always find their place in our hearts.
A few excerpts to testify to the marvel of Barnes' talent.
‘Well,’ said Jane, trying to hide a sudden
surge of jauntiness, I’ve always believed that writers get more out of things
going wrong than things going right. It’s the only profession in which failure
can be put to good use.’
…
‘Do you read those young men everyone’s going
on about?’
‘No. I think they’ve got quite enough readers
already, don’t you think?’
‘What about the young women everyone’s going on
about?’
‘I suppose I pretend a little more to have read
them than with the boys.’
‘So do I. Is that bad?’
‘No, I think it’s sisterly.’
A quote from him, but from another book - “Books
say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are
explained to you; life is where things aren't. I'm not surprised some people
prefer books.”
― Julian Barnes, Flaubert's Parrot
In
May, Ildiko read my latest novel and my first non-fiction book. She gave them
both ratings on goodreads, but also talked about them in a
couple of videos posted on her YouTube channel.
Laura
Rise – Detained
The
novel was published by the Bookworm Publishing House in March 2025 and tells
the story of an aspiring writer who decides to publish her work under a male
pseudonym. When the man enjoys success instead of her, Laura plans revenge,
blinded by frustration. If you've ever felt you had to play a different role in
order to be successful, or were outraged by injustice, you might enjoy this
novel. You can order it here.
Ildiko's
impressions of the novel can be found in the videos below:
- from
beginning until minute 9:20 and then
again from minute 24:12 – here
The
Corporation. Typologies and survival guide
My
first non-fiction book was published by Paralela 45 Publishing House in April
2024. The book centers on the typologies of bosses and colleagues that drain us
of energy and motivation at work. It features stories from job interviews,
resignations and dismissals, a Rom-English (a mix between Romanian and English)
dictionary, and survival strategies for working with certain typologies.
Wondering
if you're also a worker at the Labor-in-vain cooperative? If you've gone crazy
or are there others who need clarity, strategy, communication and support? No,
you're not crazy and you're not alone. There are many of us. And our stories
are contained in this book. You can order it here.
Ildiko's
impressions of the book can be found in the videos below:
As soon as you open the volume of poems by Ana Zaharia, you are sucked in a whirlwind. Verse after verse, the movement continues, and the author sprinkles feelings, pains, loneliness, wrapping them, at times, in questions that give rise to other questions.
The past, the reality are hard to put into words, but Anca succeeds extraordinarily. There will be many who will be displeased or offended by the verses in the book, but that will not change the truth that emerges from them.
About those that suffer at work and are being accused of not doing anything.
(Please read the English translation below)
You don't do nothing!
When you're told that, you either freeze up or you scream. I'm very proud of how I reacted. I laughed and replied that everyone is entitled to an opinion. That means I haven't forgotten an important lesson - when someone thinks the worst of you, don't bother to prove them wrong!
And yes, I got annoyed whenever that line was used against me (and there were many times). But, thankfully, I've managed to remind myself that there are really so few things that matter and we get sometimes blinded by those that don't. If you, too, are in search of cleaning your perspective, to get a better look at what matters, take this post to heart.
Let's just stay focused on only what matters!
Another case of those that suffer can be read here.
Yesterday evening I went to Quantic to see the concert of Ada Milea and the other three wonderful people (Anca Hanu, Bobo Burlăcianu, Cristi Rigman). Let us be crazy happy and happy to be crazy!
My latest novel, Laura Rise - Detained, will be on display during the Bookfest Book Fair (May 28 - June 1, 2025) at the Bookbite booth no. E12.
On Saturday, May 31st, at 4pm, I'll be stopping by the Bookbite booth to sign a few copies waiting to be bought by readers. If you'd like an autograph, either get there at the same time, or stop by the booth later to buy an autographed copy.
Bonus! A little treat for you with me reading an excerpt from Laura Rise - Detained. Check the English translation below the video.
Translation into English of the excerpt read in the above video:
As
soon as I would notice her, I closed my notebook and stood up from my desk,
giving her a discreet nod. Then, I'd walk out of the office and offer her my
hand. Depending on the weather, we'd either go out in the courtyard in the sun
and sit on a bench, or we'd sit on a bench in the hallway where the classrooms
were. Holding her small, velvety little hand in my hand, I had a sense of
bravery and a feeling that I could have protected this creature with my life. A
small moment of silence would follow each time, as if Aria was giving me time
to transpose myself back into the spirit of the story and get back into the
characters' skin.
‘Miss, please continue the story’, Aria
would then tell me.
And
I would go on telling it. I was always aware of the limited time in
which I had to finish the story, and I had already developed a knack for
quickly finding an ending to the story I had started a short while before. At
the end of it, the Deer always wore a smile, as if the ending I had told
her had unfolded before her very eyes. She would thank me and go back to her
classroom. I often stayed for a few moments in the place where Aria and I had
been. As if it was too important a ritual to put off so easily. The children
ran and screamed in the hallway, bustling toward the class that was soon to
begin, but to me it felt like I was seeing them from another body, as if I
could be in two different worlds at the same time that looked but felt nothing
alike.
I've
often wondered what became of Aria when she grew up, if she still seeks out
stories and if she's as motivated to find out how they end. I wrote the story
of the happy deer with her in mind, after a neighbor's little girl called me at
the door to ask if I wanted to take in a cat.
Yes,
this is exactly how she asked me. What a beautiful language children often
speak! She held that ginger kitten in her little hands with such love and
gentleness, that the tenderness I felt when I saw her made me think of the
little deer-like Aria. In writing the story, I probably tried to see Aria as a
grown-up, that's why the mother-deer, the main character of the story, is
called Aria. I felt the need to imagine her as gentle, unchanged by the years
that have passed or the world that must have left its mark on her in the
meantime.
I don’t know about others, but I have
difficulties seeing my nephew as an adult (he will soon become one).
The other day, I was on speaker phone, and he asked
me – So what’s new? What’s going on in your life?
And I got stuck. I don't talk to my nephew
like that. Until yesterday I was worried about how to make him laugh and show
him what cats are passing through the area. And now I'm going to tell him about
my life? Is he ready for this? 😊 Would he understand? Or would I bore him? And, in fact, what is he asking me about?
I quickly came to my senses and mumbled
something. But this worry has taken its toll on me. Things change, and I must
adapt.
But even so, what do you do in these
moments? How do you make the change?
Surely there are other uncles and aunts
who have to face the same difficulties. How do you cope with them?
'But what would we be today if the lives of
those who gave us life were forever buried in oblivion?'
This is one of the questions included in the
preamble to 'Geniului no. 10' and which led me to Maria Arsene's exhortation:
'Remember that memory must be bequeathed.
Lest it die with you.
Remember this! Remember this!'
While reading 'Geniului no. 10', I was happy to
discover details about Bucharest that I didn't know and I saw streets and learned
about people who no longer exist today, I travelled through eras, fears, hopes
and desires for better. The life of each of us acquires a special value in the
eyes of those who have been touched by our gestures, words or smiles.
Playing the game of remembrance seems to me as
important as playing the game of gratitude. A beautiful encouragement for both
is this very book, 'Geniului no. 10'.
In Corporation. Typologies and Survival Guide I put the highlight on those
that drain our energy and motivation. I am now working on texts to show the
stories of those who suffer, as well. A small excerpt can be found below about
the question receiver.
Please read below the excerpt translated into English:
The Question Receiver
Stop answering our question with a question!
Especially when we've sent you a zillion emails to remind you to answer
to our question.
We are slowly, but surely reaching the end of our patience. Our lone
neuron is already showing signs of sliding into a bottomless pit. ‘Help!’, it cries in a
faint voice. If you don't care about us, at least take care of it, for it gets
the job done.
In her latest video on YouTube, Alexandra talked about how she liked my latest novel. If you're curious, you can watch her video below (starting from 14:30 - only in Romanian). Thank you, Alexandra!
Although I am in a somewhat open competition with my
nephew regarding who is the heighest, I am rather forced to collect my victories from interracting with others, as
well. Okay, I admitted last year that my nephew had outgrown me, but that happened
a year ago. People get busy, they forget, and we can play with that.
Today my next-door neighbor stopped me to
ask if I'd been looking for him. That someone had told him a tall, young lady
from next door had been looking for him. I grinned with delight, told him that
I hadn't been looking for him, but that I was glad he found me tall, and
curtsied.
The man looked at me for a moment in
amazement, but said nothing. Then it dawned on me that (impressively!) not
everyone is aware of my youth and height. And maybe they should be!
Today marks 103 years since Vlad Mușatescu was born. I’m so glad, dear
master, that you came into this world and left us your books!My 10reasonsremain valid.
(a stanza from the poem “Why do I write when I feel like crying?”)
Naturalness is the word to which I would summarize Alex Andronic's
entire volume of poems. With one addition, that naturalness flows in two
ways. You get the sense that the poet sat down, wrote the poems, and then
they found their way to the reader. Far be it from me to think that they were
written in haste, but the feelings, the images, the sensations show themselves
to the reader with an extraordinary naturalness. And on the other hand, the
reader accesses them marvelously simply. When things seem simple, there's a lot
of complexity behind it, at least that much I know.
I found happiness
in the middle of an ordinary day,
in a corner of the beach
where clams swam
without fear of drowning.
I enjoyed reading Alex Andronic's novels (“Confused”,
“Return to Myself” and “Remain to Me” ), and it was a delight to discover him now also as a poet. “The Puppeteer”, “The
Coin of Love”, “The Shadow Show”, “Lemon Peel”, “What Would Time Say?” are just
a few of my favorites.
It is natural to feel, although lately it seems to me that we are under
pressure to hide ourselves, not to show that we feel, that we live, that we
vibrate. I have enjoyed reading the volume “Ex Igni Natus” and savoring the
uplifting thing that poetry does by making us remember that we are humans and
that we feel.
And at the end, other stanzas, because you don't have to trust in the
words I write, but in the lyrics:
(if you don't have a sniper's vision, find the excerpt below in English)
Every writer's dream is to make a living with writing. I'm modest. All
I want is a little house in the Bahamas. So I'm working hard at my writing. And
maybe so this little country will come closer to me.
Generally, writing inspirations seek me out when I'm busy with other
things – sleeping, taking a walk, reading or showering. But there are
some topics that strike me, and our encounter is so violent that I find it hard
to think of anything else; and when this happens, I write as if possessed, as
if I am struggling in the dark and searching for light or struggling for air.
The engine, though, with these topics is always the same - the outrage. That's how ‘The Corporation’ came into being. The whole text is actually an outrage, and a call for others
who feel the same to join me, with the aim of initiating the change.
Interacting with jobber-doctors (money-grubbers) and
lackadaisical-doctors (bland, uncaring) served as inspiration for ‘Health Care
Failures’, a non-fiction book about unpleasant experiences at the doctor's, about why it is important to ask for a second medical opinion and what to look out for when receiving a treatment plan.
The Argeș Magazine allowed me to publish an excerpt in its pages, for
which I am particularly grateful (and special thanks go to Mrs. Simona Fusaru).
If you want to read the full issue (in Romanian), you can find it here.
Below you can find the English translation of the excerpt that was published in the magazine:
Jobber-Doctors and Lackadaisical-Doctors
I’ve been living with the feeling of
helplessness in dealing with doctors from various specialties over the last few
years and if I could, I would have given anything to avoid the unpleasant
experiences I have had. Talking to people, I discovered that I am not alone.
That other people experience some things, as my dad would say, that boggles the
mind. That others suffer too and feel terrified by their illness, terrified
that they can no longer trust doctors and their advice. I have learned (from
experience) or understood that it is better not to practice self-medication
because then you can create even worse health problems. But in a world where
there is this growing feeling that you are being ripped off or being treated
just to pay good money, without any care for the patient or decency, how much
trust can you put into doctors anymore?! In an increasingly ageing society in
need of medical care, can we afford to lose faith in the health care system and
hide the fact that some doctors are doing great harm, both to patients and to
the health care domain?
I have been carrying this indignation with
me for years and, unfortunately, it is growing, because around me doctors are
no longer behaving as they should, but more like speculators or jobbers whose
only aim is to build that villa with a swimming pool and not to give the best
advice to patients. And in the end, the villa with the pool would not be a
problem, except that it is already clear to me that they are not sparing their
efforts only for themselves, but also for their future generations, and we
patients are just good cows to milk.
A stinking and dangerous slime is
spreading everywhere in medicine, and I am afraid we are all beginning to have
the same reaction as we would regarding some corrupt politicians – they stole,
but at least they did something for the community.
This book has as
anti-heroes the doctors focused on making money, the jobber-doctors, and the
blasé, uncaring doctors, namely the lackadaisical-doctors.
The heroes are the patients who have gone
through more or less traumatic experiences and who have paid dearly and very
dearly, i.e. at the expense of their health, for falling victim to the above
categories of doctors, believing that they would consider the Hippocratic oath
- which encompasses the moral duties of doctors in the exercise of their
profession and which can be succinctly explained as Do no harm!.
……
Periodontitis
According to the statistics, 8 out of 10
Romanians suffer from periodontitis, being the sixth most common disease in
Romania. In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of cases of periodontitis
in young people, although a few years ago this disease was only attributed to
elderly people.
What is periodontitis?
Periodontitis is the inflammation of the
tissue that supports and anchors the teeth. The disease is manifested through inflammation
and infection of the gums, and in advanced cases, pus pockets can also develop,
which destroy the gum tissue and affect the structure of the teeth, which begin
to wobble and fall out. As there is often confusion between periodontitis and
gingivitis, it is important to understand that gingivitis is a superficial
inflammation of the gums that, left untreated, can lead to periodontitis.
There is an explosion of periodontal
treatments, as well as naturopathic treatments, and here too, speculating on
Romanians' fear and confidence that they can heal themselves, various miracle
solutions are being promoted that can completely regenerate your gum tissue and
solve advanced periodontitis. Of course, there are also marketing gimmicks. A
simple Google search for herbal treatments led me to the product title tincture
for periodontosis, but the product label clearly, albeit small, mentions
tincture for gingivitis.
Another wonder-product I found is a
gum-regenerating solution, but the product's English-language label claims that
the solution is recommended to be used only after dental procedures (scaling,
tooth extraction, etc.) for gum pain relief. So, scams go hand in hand
everywhere, and if you are gullible or desperate enough, you try them all,
sometimes causing more harm. I'm not discounting the importance of herbal
treatments for certain mild conditions, but I understand that severe ones
cannot be treated with hawthorn tea, for example.
We also learn about miracle solutions from
TV commercials. For example, certain toothpastes that promise a cure, or in the
case of periodontitis, this is impossible with just using toothpaste.
I was terribly amused by a dialogue from
the Argentinian TV series "Envious", which I reproduce below.
Mom: She's beautiful now, but you'll see
in some years that beauty doesn't last. You know, don't you?
Son: Mom, it's not about that.
Mom: Oh, but it is! You think everything
stays in its place?! No. I'm telling you, everything goes down. All of it! You
know what’s the only thing that goes up?! Gums!
Periodontal Flap Surgery
If we are talking about periodontitis that
has already passed the incipient stage, dentists recommend periodontal flap
surgery. This involves subgingival cleaning of dead tissue, tartar deposits and
possibly pus pockets. Because this procedure is quite invasive, and the gums
need time to heal afterwards, it is not recommended to do it too often,
possibly every five years. But when money is at stake, what does the fragility
of gum tissue matter?
Excerpt
from ‘Health Care Failures’, a book about jobber-doctors and
lackadaisical-doctors
I was delighted to discover his fabulous humor
in "The Best A Man can Be", and since then I've made it a point to
buy John O'Farrell's books with the confidence that comes from knowing that
reading a book will give you exactly what you're looking for.
And it has. The pleasure of reading his books is
masterfully underpinned by fine humor that can't help but put you in a good
mood. "The Man Who Forgot His Wife" is just what the doctor ordered
when you need a reminder to take things less seriously.
John O'Farrell's books should be in every
reader's bookcase, for we all need to be reminded how important it is to laugh.
And now, a few excerpts.
“…
As the judge entered the room, I was struck by
the fact that he was not wearing the traditional headpiece. ‘Oh, no wig!’ I
heard myself blurt out. The judge heard and looked at me. Now I was suddenly
worried that he was in fact wearing a toupee, and that saying ‘no wig’ might
not have been the best way to get on his good side.
‘Divorce judges don’t wear wigs, Vaughn – it’s
not Open Court,’ my lawyer whispered. And we both attempted a polite smile at
the judge, but my willpower was not quite strong enough to hold eye contact
with him and I glanced momentarily at the top of his lushly carpeted head.
…
…
Maddy and I are on a train. It is before people
have mobile phones, because no one is shouting, ‘I’m on a train!’
…
‘This is a passenger announcement … ‘ (Back
then we are only ‘passengers’; it is before we are regraded as ‘customers’ so
that we can be that much more indignant when we don’t get what we paid for).
….
…
‘Do I know what it’s like to lose my identity?’
she spat in disbelief. ‘Are you serious? Before I married you I was “Madeleine”.
Not “Vaughn’s wife” or “Jamie’s mum” or “Dillie’s mum”. I existed in my own
right as me. I was Maddy the photographer who earned her own money doing
something she loved. But then suddenly there was no time for that and nobody
wanted to talk to me about me any more. It was all, “What does your
husband do?” And, “How old are your children” or, the double-whammy, “So will
your kids go the school where your husband teaches” So do I know what it’s like
to lose my identity? Yes, I do. Every bloody wife and mother has known that
since the dawn of fucking time-’
