Moderation has been derided for some time
now. We live fast and smart, and financial independence has become a term that
describes the impossible, if we analyze how much we depend on taking out loans.
Victor and Olimpia Silvestru, the couple
at the center of the novel ‘Zgârcă’, achieve financial independence.
After spending money on phones, watches, and fancy restaurant outings, they
decide to adopt a certain type of frugality that may seem a bit eccentric (they
collect bottles for 50 cents, hunt for deals and discounts, and follow a list
of necessary items to keep track of what they spend their money on and curb any
impulsive spending). Their circle of acquaintances, friends, and family all
have opinions and advice to offer, and the reader is not left unmoved by their
prejudices or absurdities.
The blunt dialogues make for delightful
reading, but they also invite introspection. What do moderation, stinginess,
wealth, and goodness mean to each of us? Victor's thirteen rules hover over
everything, perhaps offering a little encouragement to introspection. I don't
want to reveal them all, but here are two of them:
"Rule 1: Doing your job faster than
others means getting extra work or fixing the work of those who don't do it
quickly. Or well. It's your fault for being perfectionist and dedicated.
Rule 2: Learn to say No.
..."
And other little gems from the novel:
"...
Making a mistake on your own, even if you
find it hard to forgive yourself, only affects you and doesn't make you feel as
bitter as when you make a mistake on someone else's behalf.
To come back and also to stay away from a
place, you only need one thing: to remember the way.
It was really beautiful yesterday at the Gaudeamus Book Fair. You can see here some pictures.
A big thank you to all the fantastic people that honored me with their presence at the book fair, but also to those that could not be there and sent me best wishes.
On Saturday, 6th of December 2025, I will meet you at the Gaudeamus book fair. At 11:30, I will be at the Cassius Books Publishing House Booth (booth number 92) to sign an autograph on your copy of the „Când ești mic, ești fantastíc”.
Until then, a reading (check the text under the video to read it in English).
(the text I read translated from the Romanian)
She shook her head, trying to chase away that awful thought. It was too much!
"Are you cold? You seemed to be shivering."
"No. I was thinking about what you said. That people always laugh at other people. Why?"
"Lu says it's just a defense mechanism."
"What does that mean?"
"That they want to protect themselves. I'll laugh at you first, before you get the chance to laugh at me, and that way I can escape."
"Oh, I see," said Irina, tucking her black hair behind her ears. "I wonder how grown-ups manage to cope with something like that.
"I guess you get used to it or try to avoid it. Or who knows?" Clara's eyes widened. "Maybe you attack first. People always laughed at me because of my teeth."
"Really?" Irina swallowed hard. She had thought about Clara's teeth too, but she hadn't attacked her.
"Yes. They call me 'lostritza'. Of course, at first I had no idea what that was, then I found out it's a type of fish. But now I don't care, that's why they're so worried about finding me another nickname."
"I don't understand why children are mean. They call me shorty, and even though I know it's silly and that I'll grow, that nickname really upsets me."
"Yes, actually, it's not the nickname that upsets you, but the fact that the others laugh, isn't it?" asked Clara.
"Yes, you're right."
For a moment, both girls looked at each other without saying anything. It's good to find someone to share your pain with, someone who understands what you're going through without you having to explain so much. Irina glanced in the mirror and noticed that her face was no longer as red as before. Only the tip of her nose remained redder than the rest, as if she were some kind of Rudolph. She remembered her mother, who liked to call her little she-Rudolph, especially in winter when she came in from outside with a red nose. She smiled. And the smile was returned in the mirror by Clara.
"It's good to talk to someone."
"Yes," Irina laughed. "That's what I was thinking just now. Where were you the last few times when my colleagues were mocking me?"
Always different, just the way you want
it!, that was the slogan of a famous cosmetics company, if I remember well.
Here I am, a proud guardian of diversity.
Besides being Romanian, I am also Italian, but it seems I didn't stop there.
The other day, while talking to someone, I started a question with "I
wonder."
"Excuse me, are you from
Transylvania?" the man asked me.
"No," I laughed. It's because of
"I wonder", isn't it?
"Yes! That's where I heard it mostly.
But you should know that I really like it, it's very polite to ask that way.
My fellow Transylvanians, I continue to
make you proud.
I play and play. But not when it comes to gratitude. Praise to the good spirit found in family members,
friends, and strangers. Long may you live!
And a song that may or may not be related
to gratitude. But I know that my sister loved it a few years ago, and I listen
to it today with the same joy and gratitude because she is, because I am,
because we are. Let's be, friends!
I don't know if people feel that I am the
youngest, but I have often found myself in situations where I had to prove that
I am legally and adult.
A long pause from such occurences led me
to the (wrong) conclusion that, okay, now I'm a grown-up, I have wrinkles, thus
I no longer need to prove this.
Murphy and his laws are always with us! In
only one evening, I had two such moments, less than half an hour apart.
The first occurence
I went into a grocery store because some
peaches caught my eye. I put a few in a bag and went to the checkout. From
somewhere to my right, I heard a woman's voice.
"Give it here, mama’s girl!"
Obediently, I handed her the bag, she
weighed it, told me how much it cost, and I handed her the money.
"Please don't be angry with me! But
until I heard your voice, I thought you were one of those kids who come here
from school on their way to home. "
"Don't worry," I laugh happily,
"it's no problem."
"You say that, but there have been
people who got really angry and spoke to me so rudely!"
"Well, there are much worse things in
life than people thinking you're younger than you are," and I smile
gratefully at her for sharing this with me.
I leave the grocery store with a big smile
on my face; I may not be that tall, but I am young.
Incident two
I walk into an Arabic butcher's shop to
buy some tea, of course. I quickly choose a box and the man behind the counter
tells me to take a meatball.
"No, thank you!"
"Come on, take it!"
"I don't want it."
"Why don't you want it?"
"Because I don't want it!" I
reply cheekily.
"That’s no excuse, you have to take
it."
I realize that the man is insisting out of
kindness or a sense of trading, so I give in, seeing him standing there for a
while with his hand outstretched toward me, holding the tray. I take a
meatball.
"You’ll eat it, yes!"
"Yes, I'll eat it, I promise."
"That's good, that's very good. You take
care of yourself, okay?!"
I leave laughing and sink my teeth into
the meatball. It's so good that I almost want to go back and apologize for
being ungrateful and thank him for insisting that I eat something so delicious.
But I'll make it up to him someday. For now, I'm enjoying the kindness of
strangers, which also goes through the stomach and rises high, high, very high,
where the smoke of our thoughts sometimes clouds our perception of the
beautiful things around us, and it, the kindness, dear kindness, helps brighten
up the things.
Ideas,
diary excerpts, questions, poems, chronicles, and articles. That's how Laura
Sandu's book could be briefly described. But going further, regardless of the
form in which they were put, the words take shape, playing with preconceptions,
fears, and hopes.
Here
it is, a must-read. And an excerpt.
"Literature
belongs to everyone, but what do we want it to be, first and foremost, when we
teach it, translate it, sell it, popularize it, write it, and interpret it?
Do
we want it to be heritage, a national legacy with infinite potential,
which must be 'saved' from oblivion and degradation? Or do we want it to be,
above all, a contemporary body of expressive structures, with the extraordinary
ability to make us understand—by appealing to our empathy and other affective
and cognitive abilities—the present, history, and the possibilities of the
future?"
When the book you wrote goes out into the
world, you no longer exist. In the sense that the power you had when it was a
manuscript has vanished. Now, the book is its own master, and readers are
entitled to like it or not.
By relinquishing control, more out of
necessity than choice, you learn about tolerance in ways you never imagined. In
a selfish way, control returns to the author when they find out that their work
is appreciated, applauded, or promoted. So I was very happy to regain control
(fortunately for the book, this regaining is short-lived; and fortunately for
me, this time, I have experienced regaining control several times this year)
when I listened to Aditi talking about my latest novel, 'Laura Rise-Detained'.
Then, the praise settled and gave way to
another feeling, much more beautiful and lasting. Gratitude. When your love of
books is reflected in someone else's love of books, you understand that you are
understood. And who doesn't want to be understood?!
Thank you, Aditi, for your kind words
about the book and about the behind-the-scenes life of a writer!
In the video below, you can listen to
Aditi talk about my book between 19:51 and 21:37 (only in Romanian).
I visited Ireland this summer. I don't want to
write recommendations about places to visit, but I would like to share with you
a moment, a couple's existence, which delighted me beyond measure.
She is dressed in a linen suit with long
fuchsia pants. She is friendly, talks to everyone, smiles, makes jokes,
although she can also be sarcastic.
He is dressed in a plaid shirt, olive pants,
boots, and a wide-brimmed hat. He seems grumpy, and he is, he is sarcastic,
sharp, but also funny, and he recites long poems, but too quickly for the
message of the poems to reach his listeners.
They are certainly over 60 years old, but their
chemistry is palpable. They sit outside in the wind at night and play a card
game. They talk, laugh, and look up at the stars from time to time, despite the
younger people who don't dare to go outside because of the wind.
They are not in their first marriage, I hear
later when they come in and engage in conversation with others who have stayed
inside to enjoy their drinks in the warmth. She has two sons, who are quite
religious, perhaps too much so for his liking.
They are kind to each other, teasing each other
without any hidden meaning or reproaches. There is a sweet familiarity between them
that makes everyone around them envious and feeling lucky to be witnesses to such
a clear example of love, appreciation, and support. This example is more astonishing since they are at an age when, supposedly, we think there's maybe only indifference or disillusionment.
Adina Popescu's short prose is a real treat,
especially for those who want to let themselves be carried away by time and
through time. Diverse characters, simple or complex, and above all, Bucharest
reigns, as the main character of the book "În așteptare" (On
Stand-By).
I really liked that, here and there, the
stories raise in us questions that we may not have considered at all or that we
have avoided thinking about. But most of all, I was charmed by the gentleness
that emerges from each story, a gentleness that can be extended to the reader,
in case of need. And who doesn't need gentleness?!
By all means, do read an excerpt below (only in Romanian).
In addition to the imposter syndrome, writers struggle with many demons. I also struggle with the superstition of not talking about the books I'm working on, lest I scare away the chances of them being published. And here I am today, showing my vulnerability.
If it weren't for Ildiko, I probably wouldn't have stepped out of my comfort zone; it's hard, really hard to try to fight old habits. But Ildiko was brave enough for me too and talked not in one video, but in three, about my unpublished novel, "The Light Within You."
I feel honored to be read, supported, and encouraged in such a sincere and beautiful way! I bow to you, Ildiko!
On her YouTube channel, Citesc și Călătoresc (I Read and Travel), Dana talked about my new novel, „Laura Rise - Deținută” ("Laura Rise - Detained").
"If you read Romanian authors, I think Emilia Muller should be on your radar," Dana says at one point.
Well, how could one not be happy, especially when someone not only speaks highly of one's book, but also encourages reading and discovering other Romanian writers?
The joy of any writer is to be read. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart, Dana!
Below you can find the video in which Dana talks about Laura's story.
I've finally cured myself of the obsession with the
two first names I used in my two novels, "The Sewing Club" (check
some details about it here and here) and "Laura-Rise-Detained" (here and here).
If
in "The Sewing Club", Laura and George were secondary characters, in
"Laura Rise - Detained" they became main characters.
There,
I said to myself, I've avenged whatever they needed me to. And I started
writing on my next novel. There's no Laura or George there. But we have a man
named Laur.
That's
perfect!
Later edit (on 03.08.2025): and another cure. It seems like the year 2025 has a lot to teach me.
Tonight, Nephew reminded me that I owe it
to him to watch Mulan together. Yep, I promised him we'd watch (my favorite) cartoons
together, and I got carried away and forgot. And there's nothing more important
than making memories with one’s loved ones.
Tomorrow, maybe, we perish, and that's
that. And in the end, that's a given, we can't change it and we shouldn't be
sad about it, but how good it would have been to have spent more time together!
I've been watching Pernille series for a
few days. I laughed and cried, and it reminded me that I'm only here for a
short while. And it's nice when time passes for others too, but these others
don't hesitate to tell you that they'd like to spend some of it with you.
That's the gem of our existence, people who want to spend time with you. Stop what
you’re doing and give it, it's the most beautiful thing you will ever realize!
In the June issue of the Argeș Magazine, an excerpt from this sequel was published. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! If you want to browse through it (it's only in Romanian), find the link here.
Find here and here other excerpts from ‘Work Under Scrutiny. Other Typologies, the Ones that Suffer and Communication Solutions' that have been posted on the blog.
The ‘I'm tellin’ the
missus' colleague
The ‘I'm tellin’ the
missus' colleague could pass for a whistle-blower and it wouldn't be totally
untrue. He clearly lacks backbone, respect and common sense, but he knows that
shutting up is not a valued quality at work.
Like many other
categories I've encountered, the ‘I'm tellin’ the missus' coworker is a big
baby. And, sadly, there are many others who don't seem to have made it past
kindergarten level. I have often wondered in recent years how I find so few
adults in the workplace. To explain, by adult I mean a person capable of
responsibility, honesty, pragmatism and a willingness to work well together.
How many adults do you manage to work with?
Another quality of the
‘I'm telling the lady’ colleague is the art of throwing the dead cat in someone
else's yard. As I wrote at the beginning, if you keep quiet you lose ground; so
they will speak up to show how much they want to work and how many difficulties
they find on their way.
Let's see Aglaia at
work. Here's a dialogue between boss and employee.
BOSS: Do you still
send out the monthly email to remind people they can submit content?
EMPLOYEE: No.
BOSS: Why?
EMPLOYEE: I've sent it
five months in a row and no one has ever responded. Then, everyone knows they
can contact me if they have content, and since people keep complaining about
getting too many emails, I figured there's no point in me keep sending it.
CHIEF: Well, it's not
exactly nonsense. Aglaia claims that because the reminder email wasn't sent,
she stopped sending content.
EMPLOYEE: Okay, but
the newsletter is still being sent. She didn't think we were dreaming that
content! In addition, a while ago she asked me what she should do if she had
content and I assured her that she was free to send it to me at any time, then
seeing if we fit to get in that newsletter or the next one.
BOSS: That's
irrelevant. Aglaia told the boss that's why she didn't send it because she
didn't get your email.
EMPLOYEE: Okay, but
that's a childish approach, she just threw the blame around, when she knew very
well that she could contact me anytime, with or without that monthly reminder
email.
BOSS: We need to have
our backs, thus just send it, and that's it.
EMPLOYEE: OK, if
that's what you think is best.
BOSS: Yes, that's the
best.
I wrote at the
beginning that I find it hard to find adults at work. Some behave childishly,
but what is really worrying is that they are also encouraged to behave that
way. Disempowering some people seems to be a new fashionable procedure, while
others are not only responsible for their tasks, but also for these
infantilized people. Again, I find it worrying that I constantly hear managers
complaining that people are not responsibile, that they indulge in
kindergarten-like behavior, passing the task from one to another, without
admitting that they are partly to blame for encouraging or failing to sanction
such childish behavior. Foolishly sending an email to remind people what they
already know is not only counterproductive, but demotivating. And thus the kind
reminder specialist, which I'll write about later, appears.
It is sad to discover
that you have a boss who encourages the ‘I'm tellin’ the missus' behavior. I've
always thought that, as adults, we will take responsibility for our own actions,
but it's already clear to me when I look around that this is true in few cases.
I detest childish behaviors that try to dribble responsibility and, just as
much, that encourage childishness in some, by which I mean bosses who pat some
people on the head to act like children to whom the rest of us are obliged to
show understanding. It really annoys me when I'm told to send a monthly email
with 99.99% identical text just to remind some people that they can do
something and thus infantilizing them, while I'm able to take care of all my
tasks without the benefit of any kind reminder email. It's the
double standards game that I dislike, but also the totally unproductive
approach of some managers who want responsible subordinates but treat them like
children.
‘Work Under Scrutiny. Other
Typologies, the Ones that Suffer and Communication Solutions’ is a book that I
am currently working on and which adds to the typologies mentioned in the book
”The Corporation. Typologies and survival guide" (Paralela 45 Publishing
House, 2024), and also presents the ones that suffer because of these
typologies and tries to come up with communication solutions for all.
After all this time, I can finally understand
what the poor teachers were referring to when, somewhat bored or tired, they
stopped us in our ramblings (often nonsense beside the point) with a You haven’t understood it. Read it again! .
At the time, I thought they were being
insensitive or putting on airs of superiority. Because, after all, why was it
so hard for them to correct us on the spot and show/give us the correct answer?
I found out, rather belatedly, that by doing so, they were not letting us
become helpless, perhaps not even victims of manipulation if you get to keep
doing the thinking exercise with your own mind, and not keep waiting for the
right answer from someone else.
Sometimes, I wish a teacher would come
along and say to me and to others You haven’t understood it. Read it again!. I don't know why, but it no longer seems to me
that what's going on today can be easily explained with a I'm in a hurry, I
need the answer now.
It's a contest of the rested, for many
years now, and I'm often afraid I'll end up explaining how and where to look up
the definition of a word you don't know (I've already had to explain that 12
a.m. is not noon).
So, I don't arrogate anything to myself,
I'm just sharing in the already growing fear (of others) and thanking (a bit
late, admittedly) all the teachers who said You haven’t understood it. Read it again!. Kudos to you!
The wonderful Julian Barnes has delightful stories in this collection. Analyses of the soul made with rare finesse, testimonies, prejudices, expectations,
disappointments, hopes.
Julian Barnes doesn't write, he brings the words together and sets the
tone, and they are sensible to always find their place in our hearts.
A few excerpts to testify to the marvel of Barnes' talent.
‘Well,’ said Jane, trying to hide a sudden
surge of jauntiness, I’ve always believed that writers get more out of things
going wrong than things going right. It’s the only profession in which failure
can be put to good use.’
…
‘Do you read those young men everyone’s going
on about?’
‘No. I think they’ve got quite enough readers
already, don’t you think?’
‘What about the young women everyone’s going on
about?’
‘I suppose I pretend a little more to have read
them than with the boys.’
‘So do I. Is that bad?’
‘No, I think it’s sisterly.’
A quote from him, but from another book - “Books
say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are
explained to you; life is where things aren't. I'm not surprised some people
prefer books.”
― Julian Barnes, Flaubert's Parrot
In
May, Ildiko read my latest novel and my first non-fiction book. She gave them
both ratings on goodreads, but also talked about them in a
couple of videos posted on her YouTube channel.
Laura
Rise – Detained
The
novel was published by the Bookworm Publishing House in March 2025 and tells
the story of an aspiring writer who decides to publish her work under a male
pseudonym. When the man enjoys success instead of her, Laura plans revenge,
blinded by frustration. If you've ever felt you had to play a different role in
order to be successful, or were outraged by injustice, you might enjoy this
novel. You can order it here.
Ildiko's
impressions of the novel can be found in the videos below:
- from
beginning until minute 9:20 and then
again from minute 24:12 – here
The
Corporation. Typologies and survival guide
My
first non-fiction book was published by Paralela 45 Publishing House in April
2024. The book centers on the typologies of bosses and colleagues that drain us
of energy and motivation at work. It features stories from job interviews,
resignations and dismissals, a Rom-English (a mix between Romanian and English)
dictionary, and survival strategies for working with certain typologies.
Wondering
if you're also a worker at the Labor-in-vain cooperative? If you've gone crazy
or are there others who need clarity, strategy, communication and support? No,
you're not crazy and you're not alone. There are many of us. And our stories
are contained in this book. You can order it here.
Ildiko's
impressions of the book can be found in the videos below:
As soon as you open the volume of poems by Ana Zaharia, you are sucked in a whirlwind. Verse after verse, the movement continues, and the author sprinkles feelings, pains, loneliness, wrapping them, at times, in questions that give rise to other questions.
The past, the reality are hard to put into words, but Anca succeeds extraordinarily. There will be many who will be displeased or offended by the verses in the book, but that will not change the truth that emerges from them.
