How to get published

(Photo credit: Laura Chouette - Unsplash)

A young lady wrote to me on Facebook and asked me what did I do in order to get published. She asked me to explain it to her by enumerating the steps. After replying to her, I said to myself that this is surely not the only person to have this demand so below you’ll read my answer.

 

 

Hi,

 

Thank you very much for writing to me!

Firstly, congratulations! It’s such a beautiful journey you’re embarking, being a writer that is, albeit sinuous.

I do not know if my journey could be of any service, but I will break it down in simple steps. I wrote what I really felt inside me I should write about. I must highlight this because you will find and hear a lot of indications saying that it is best to only write about what it is in fashion or about the subjects people usually read. To my mind, if you choose to do it this way you are not a writer, but a journalist (because aside from informing the people, they are constantly in search of subjects that could wow the people).

Step two – I wanted my books to be published. If you should want the same thing, then I advise you to start a research on publishing houses. You can easily find on internet a list od publishing houses in Romania (I guess it’s the same if you live in England or France, or any other country). Choose those more in sync with you (on account of what they have already published).

Step three – send them a summary of the work and a chapter or two, as sample.

Step four – send a follow-up email to ask if they had received your email and if they can offer you feedback.

Step five – keep writing.

Step six – send or resend your work and do not stop from writing.

 

I know there are people that have self-published their works, but I do not have details about this process. Advice – even though the publishing house promotes your work, do promote it yourself.

I hope this has been useful and would love to hear from you when you’re published. Good luck!

 

Cordially,

Emilia

Modeling

Everybody knows I am tall.

Back in the days when I was not that tall, my father took me to a studio to have my picture taken (actually, we went as a family to have our picture taken). It is all very blunt in my head, when I try to remember it. Somehow, over the years, I have asked myself if it wasn’t all just a dream.

The photographer’s studio seemed familiar and I remember I was sitting on a bench and I was probably told to smile. And to sit still. 

Even though… out of all the times I had my picture taken there were few people that asked me to stay still. The usual reproach is that I do not stand upright. My first photograph taken for my ID, back when the ID was a small notebook, was a black and white one. Moreover, it was a frustration fruit. Meaning that the photographer insisted on the fact that I was not keeping myself upright, but leaning to the right (do not read this as a declaration regarding my political views). And this is how my lips turned out askew (maybe this is how I thought I could control my sitting upright) like I had just eaten some lemon slices.

But coming back to the point, there are people that do not change over the years. It seems to me that I have not changed from this picture:

To this one:

About job ads

I am a voracious reader. And besides books, I also have read thousands and thousands of job ads. I say that gives me enough credit to put my opinion here, in the open.

 

I proud myself with being inspired with the outside world. You can read such an article here, but I must acknowledge job ads are my favorite.

The between the lines is always something that amuses and amazes me more and more.

 

Here are some of the highlights that I found while browsing through the latest job ads:

1. To be able to work under pressure

Isn’t that a given? I mean, we have been working under pressure for years now (even more so now with the COVID-19 pandemic). There isn’t a job out there that does not also imply some level of stress or pressure. Whether to calibrate your velocity to a faster way of doing things or to slow yourself down, count the sheep and hope that all goes well with your projects, we are all under pressure when trying to adjust to new roles. And how does one vouch for one’s experience of working under pressure? How do you go to interviews and explain your ability to do that? Here’s food for thought for recruiters that write such ads.

 

2. Flexibility

The candidate should show flexibility in managing work situations. I am sure you have all read this in an ad before. Again, how does one prove that? Whether I say it, believe it about myself or not, it will only be shown in the way I work (thus, it cannot be measurable and I cannot prove it beforehand to the recruiter). Wouldn’t it be better to just come out and say: your day-to-day working hours might change frequently or you will be receiving with delay the ‘go’ for your projects or we don’t usually have a plan that we stick to, we just do things as we go? That will be more honest and set the right expectations.

 

3. Original

There is a high demand for originality these days. I should say, if I have to quote my fellow writers, there isn’t a topic out there that has not been already addressed. There cannot be ‘an original content’ anymore, thus. But there are ways to innovate the old or the so much promoted. Don’t get me wrong, I do not have a problem against the word ‘original’, but to always consider originality regarding one’s content means that one’s expectations are not accurately set.    

 

My experience as a recruiter is slim. I participated, from time to time, to various job interviews as helper of the human resources specialist or the manager looking for a candidate. But I do have quite an experience as a candidate, and I am pretty sure that having the best interview experience goes two-ways. Considering both the interviewer and the interviewee’s point of view, that is. So here are my kind recommendations to those looking to implement changes in their current recruiting/ job interviewing style:

 

Before the face-to-face interview (the ad)

• Be concise and factual. Meaning just that, make a summary of the main responsibilities and requirements and let the candidate come back to you with questions. Less is really more in almost any situation, but precisely in this case. Giving more details than necessary will only mislead the candidate. Be factual – don’t enumerate pompous words, just make a summary presentation of the skills (measurable skills, not flexibility and originality) that you want to see in a candidate.
• Make your selection. I know that some of the resumes are not always up to date, but favor those that are (you can even include a note in the ad stating that candidates that do not have an updated resume will be disqualified) and make a fair selection of the candidates you will be calling for the interview. It will be highly appreciated and not time-consuming.

 

At the face-to-face interview

• Don’t, I repeat, don’t ask the candidate her/ his five-year plan! It’s so old news and not practical for your objective that I won’t dignify it with more words.
• Test. Well, most of you know about my aversion to this word. Nevertheless, I consider it a very good exercise to get to know your candidate’s sparkle. But please do not send them a test that takes more than half an hour to solve. More even, you can test her/ him while on interview. There are a lot of creative ways to do that and you could thus also test your candidate’s response to the unforeseen.
• Time. This is a sore point. Test and time are related here. Do test the candidate, but always consider the time. It’s precious, both for the company and the candidate. Also, be in time and have a lookout for those candidates that show up in time or earlier to an interview.

 

After the interview

• Even if you have made a promise or not (more so if you did), please send a response or feedback (it will be highly appreciated and the candidate will reconsider applying for the company for future open roles). I am fairly aware of the fact that time is a scarce resource, but even more so candidates should know that they have not passed the interview/ test and be able to move on. I know a recruiter sees sometimes even thousands of people for a role, but there are ways in which a candidate that was not suitable now, to be let down easy. You can make a template email and send it to let the candidate know they have not been selected to go forward. It shows respect to the time given by the candidate and also creates a trustful connection, making sure that the candidate will come back on your company’s job posting.

I come from...

Since it's been a while since I have not used the metro, I have no Bucharest stories to tell you. Sure, stories can be picked from other places than the metro; a gathering is enough to get me inspired. LinkedIn, though, came to the rescue. There I read a story about a store opening in Dej. And bam! Inspiration kicked in.

While we were living in Cluj, we paid the cost of utilities directly to the real estate developer (it's far too complicated to enter into details). The problem was that we would be dropped on constantly in order to give him cash (which sometimes we would not have on us, given that we had no ATM in our apartment) or he would come while we were not at home. Sometimes, it so happened that we were elsewhere, too far to come back home instantly. His approach was always to ring us whenever there was no answer at the door. When we would tell him we are too far to come back home, he would reply: but I come from Dej.

A couple of times, we tried to explain it to him that it would be best if he would ring us one or two days in advance, so that to avoid unfruitful moments like those. Especially because he came all the way from Dej, it was advisable not to make unnecessary trips. But we could not make him understand. And so, we embellished our vocabulary with the expression: I come from Dej.

Years ago, I was telling former colleagues the 'I come from Dej' story. They laughed, and so I went and told them about the French classes I was taking. They had started to feel a little less interesting since I was interupted by the teacher every time I made a mistake. One of my former colleagues, assimilating the meaning of the abovementioned expression, asked me: so, why didn't you ask her... ma'am, do you come from Dej?

Still thinking about you, my dear Master!

Today, we celebrate 98 years since Vlad Musatescu was born. Let’s honor him properly by reading what he wrote, this time a fragment from ‘Approximate adventures’, the third chapter.

“…

Next day, dolled up in the lightest suit (from a color perspective, and not a weight one) to make sure I’ll raise my dear fellow’s spirits, I was getting aboard. The train. Specifically, in the dining car. There, I found the two, Franz and Titus, in the middle of an Ardeal-like feast (Ardeal is a region in Transylvania) drinking turt (an alcoholic beverage from the Satu Mare region, similar to palinka). They were happily talking as if they were on a trip to Haway.

‘Are you insane’, I tried speaking in an Ardeal-like manner, so to keep the atmosphere, ‘to drink this poison on an empty stomach?’

‘We are! And we also are broke… Meaning, no money at all!’, Munteanu informed me.

‘You should be ashamed of yourself! You haven’t said a word about this illness to me. Well, I’ll fix it!’

And I left looking for the chief of the dining car. When I told him that he had guests that represented the culture sector, he was dearly impressed and assured me that he will give us full support. I took a moment and mentioned the kind of support we needed, some piglet ribs (as tender and fat as possible) accompanied by pilaf and French fries.

In no less than five minutes, the chief came back to our table with the platter. After wishing us to enjoy the meal, he came closer to me and whispered at my ear:

‘Do you work in the small or in the big culture, if you don’t mind my asking? I am an agronomist myself. I work here because it pays much better and I can also see the country, free of charge.’

…”

The Big Secret

Let me tell you a secret. I complain. Yes, I complain. From time to time, I gather all my insatisfactions and things that did not turn out they way I planned, and feel sorry for myself. Oh, nobody's got problems like me (an exact quote from the movie The Odd Couple - if you haven't watched it, now it's high time to do it - when Felix tells Oscar that he hates himself, and Oscar replies: 'Neah, you don't hate you. You love you, you think no one else's got problems like you').

And I can neither blame myself for all of my problems, even though there are theories that support the fact that we attract what is coming our way. No, I strongly and respectfully disagree!
I do not attract people that are afraid even of their own shadow, people that do not understand the importance of a promise, people that step over dead bodies in order to have their purpose seen, people that have anger management issues, people that offend or talk nonsense, people that believe they know it all and that's why they do it all and don't let the responsible ones do their thing (so what if they have experience?! they are all a bunch of incompetents!), people that do not even trust themselves and thus it's impossible for them to trust others...

Seeing things from an objective perspective, sometimes it's a matter of making peace with what one has around and cannot control. One can only encourage oneself with the thought that they have done their share of the deal, and if things turned out differently than expected because one was not permitted to do it one's way, than the guilt must go elsewhere.

Moreover, I also do not agree with the idea 'What can I say?! It's always going to be like this. Wherever I go, I will have to deal with the same issues. I think it's better to stay put and endure, and maybe I could learn something from this situation. It is a lesson I must learn'.
No, this is not a lesson, it's pure madness that will only have one done with their senses, frustrated and never believing that one can achieve something. I'd even go far and say that it is a lack of care for one's loved ones - why would anyone want to subject them to a defeated soul spectacle?!
I guess, most of the times the solution is to burn the bridge that ties one to a certain situation or person that makes one feel stuck. To leave is the best lesson one could ever offer oneself.

Let us not forget that we can control some of the things. It's exactly how Eleanor Roosevelt put it: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Thus, let's complain for it's good to free ourselves from the devils emerged from so many frustrations. Let's complain and realize that we cannot stop some things from happening, and that sometimes we must calibrate our attention in order to move on. Just like in the lyric from this song: 'I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining'.
We will walk in the rain and we will get there, where we need to be. And we will arrive even stronger!

A lesson of humbleness

A lifetime ago, I was working as a secretary in a consulting company. The nine months I spent there were of great help. I learned a lot about who I am, how I would like to be and remain over the years, how a team looks like and how important it is to be at ease with your colleagues so that yourk work gives good results. Also, I learned important lessons about patience, integrity, responsibility, trust in one's own strength and capacity and modesty.

Thus, when I left there for another role in another company, I highly appreciated the team I had joined, a team with which I still keep in touch, even though there are about seven years since we no longer work together. I am proud of this. Some are not just as lucky to keep in touch with former teams. I must admit, my parents have been very keen about teaching me to observe certain principles, among which that of 'to leave room for hello (I paraphrased the Romanian saying; it means that even though the situation was unbearable, the people involved kept a professional attitude about it)'. But this is not the only reason for managing to keep in contact with former colleagues. I reckon that keeping in touch is a two-way street. Both parties try to stay in touch and so the relationship continues. Even though it is not at the same level as it used to be.

Coming back to the experience I was referring to at the start of this article, I was a main actor in an episode that I constantly go back to.
The cleaning lady at this company used to come a few hours earlier than us so that she could finish cleaning by the time we arrived at the office. One morning, she asked me if she could leave earlier. I asked if she needed help with something and she told me that she needed to hurry home because her daughter was supposed to go to school and since it had snowed a lot the evening before she had to take her daughter's pair of boots.
The image of the two, mother and daughter, sharing the same pair of boots can never be erased from my memory.

To this image I turn to anytime I feel like feeling sorry for myself or I offer it as parable to people who I think will not see it as offensive. I will not think of myself as superior and give you advice about how to live your life. But my experience so far (and that of those I've been blessed with having in my life) shows me that we tend to appreciate the things we no longer have and it is easier to make ourselves feel better if we should compare our lives to those who have it rougher than us. 

I don't draw conclusions, nor offer recommendations. I give you, in return, this lesson of humbleness that I received years ago. Let it guide you when you should think there is no way out!