When I’ll Be Grand

I was reading the first pages of ‘The Most Secret Memory of Men’ by Mohamed Mbougar Sarr when I remembered why I wrote ‘Laura Rise – Detained’.

With the publication of my latest book, I found myself in all sorts of discussions that piqued my interest or encouraged me to think even more about what it means to be a writer today.

Writers just starting out have written to me asking if I have any valuable advice that might bring them closer to being published.

With seven books already published (eight, if I count the bilingual edition of ‘Adventures of tourists’), you might consider me an experienced writer. But I don’t see myself that way. Or at least, not yet. I still have a lot to learn, and when you’re not a big name (or even a medium-sized one), you sometimes have to make sure you climb in through the window when the door is slammed in your face.

These days, a writer doesn’t just write (perhaps only those who are well-known and make a living from their writing, since they already have a team handling their PR, social media pages, blogs, and so on). Thus, now, a writer has to do marketing, PR, copywriting, and much more. All of this takes up a lot of time and drains your energy (a heads-up for introverts).

When I make it big (as a writer), I’d like to just worry about choosing the cover and making the edits suggested by the editors. To know that I just have to write and I’ll be published, no matter what, without having to spend time convincing publishers that my work is worth publishing. I don’t lack inspiration for writing, so I’m determined to make it big. Until then, I promise to hold on tight and stay balanced on this carousel I call the writer’s life.

My carousel looks something like this, but that doesn’t mean it’s identical to other writers’—no one fully understands another’s experiences. I’ll break it down into noteworthy elements and, here or there, I’ll try to offer some advice.

• Create social media accounts—Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, etc.—so potential readers and publishers can find you more easily (some publishers value you having these accounts).
• If you’ve published at least one book, create an author account on Goodreads—readers can rate your work, recommend your book to friends, and you can connect with reader groups, read books that inspire you, and reach other readers and authors.
• Do you have a manuscript? Send it. But before you do, make sure your work fits the publisher’s portfolio; otherwise, you’ll be wasting your time and theirs. Pay close attention to the submission guidelines—some publishers want the full manuscript, while others prefer just a few pages and a synopsis.
• Author’s CV – While not all publishers require a writer’s CV, it’s a good idea to include one. Start with your most recently published book, or if you’ve published in magazines, blogs, etc.
• Pitch – A pitch is a kind of presentation of your work, except that this presentation needs to sell—that is, to convince the editor.
• Timing – This factor is just as important as the ones above. If you send your proposal on days when they’re off (weekends, public holidays), chances are your email will get lost in the spam folder. So remember not to send the email on weekends, public holidays, or two weeks before and after book fairs, when publishing house staff are working intensely or recovering from events.
• Email addresses – publishers usually have a dedicated email address for submitting manuscripts. If you can find the email addresses of the editors who handle your literary genre, your chances improve (at least that your manuscript will reach the right person).
• When should you follow up? Publishers usually have a standard policy: if you don’t hear back within X months, your manuscript has been tacitly rejected. Make a note of the date you submitted your manuscript, and if the publisher doesn’t follow this standard policy, follow up with an email.
• Can you resubmit the manuscript? Sure, but in my opinion, only if you’ve made relevant changes.
• Reread it! Nothing is perfect, and that includes your manuscript. Make sure to take another look at it after taking a break of at least two months. I guarantee you’ll find things to correct!
• Ask for help! It’s hard to ask for help, I know. It means putting yourself in a vulnerable position. If you have friends who write, ask for their opinion. Take a creative writing class. Reach out to a writer whose work you admire (there are plenty of wonderful writers who can help you—the kindness I’ve received from a few of them still amazes me today)—but please keep in mind that they’re people too, with plans and projects of their own, and you can’t expect them to give you an immediate response.
• Build your shield! Being a writer (or any kind of artist) means facing moments of disappointment—when your work is rejected or criticized (harshly or not), when you finally publish and expect to sell thousands of books, but you only managed to sell two copies (both bought by your mom), when you hold book launches and only three people show up, and you imagined a whole stadium. Taking the idea a step further as a joke, there’s a lot of truth in this saying—the life of an artist is like this: one day happy, one day sad!
• Be reasonable! Yes, you can’t be objective about your own writing (which is why it’s recommended to ask friends—and even strangers—to give you as objective an opinion as possible about your writing), but don’t go thinking you’re the next .................... (fill in the name of your favorite and/or well-known writer).
• Take a breath. Take it one step at a time, and don’t forget that as soon as you finish a manuscript (whether it’s your first or your tenth), you start the merry-go-round from scratch in search of a publisher to publish it (now do you understand why I want to be grand?!)
• Get better! To be a good writer, you need to read a lot (not necessarily books in the same genre as what you write) and write a lot. This combination is the most important exercise. You can’t do one without the other. It’s like having two dumbbells but deciding to use only one for one hand only. The difference will be noticeable in your arms.

 

That’s about it. Take everything above as guidelines, not certainties. In closing, I can only wish you lots of patience, self-compassion, and resilience.

What’s been helping me lately? Remembering the movie Mr. Aznavour and the singer's reaction to those who harshly criticized him, dismissing his talent or his chance to be known—“From today on, I’ll write a song every day, I’ll work harder and harder, and I’ll prove that I’m good!”

Reasons to be proud

We are constantly told that we need to grow, both personally and professionally. And to measure how much, we can use all kinds of KPIs (Key Performance Indicators).

Today, I registered an extraordinary growth. I received a text message from my sister. It was in Italian. 

KPIs are now exceeded!

The bell rings

The bell rings to announce... geometrical shapes.

A small note forgotten by Nephew becomes a sweet discovery. My Nephew is grand!

Dead Smoke - Nebojša Jevrić

The short stories included in 'Dead Smoke' are perhaps not the easiest to read, and the reader will go through various stages of despair in the face of the horrors of human existence. But this does not make them any less valuable or necessary, for as you read them, little gems of kindness, boldness, diligence, and stoicism shine through indulgently.

But perhaps the most valuable thing that any reader gains from reading these stories is the conviction that the past is not lost if we ignore it, but must be analyzed, discussed, and dissected, not necessarily to facilitate understanding, but to avoid repetition. Also remarkable is the way in which Jevrić captures the essence of each story, without too many detours or actions that fragment the reader's attention, who is immediately exposed to the core of the story, like a chasm yawning directly at their feet, leaving them no escape or chance to distract themselves.

 

A few excerpts:

‘...

The dead Serbs are being moved from the Serbian part of Sarajevo.

One man had enough money to take his dead father with him, but left his living mother at home.

 

…

The old man held a piece of paper with the message: "When I didn't have warm clothes, I had the strength to fight the cold. I was used to it; but when you promised to help me, I started to believe in promises. I gave up the fight. I believed you."

 

...’

Childish perspective

A large puddle on the park path. I walk in single file with other adults, finding a spot on the side where we can walk without getting too wet.

We walk slowly, careful not to step on each other. To our left, a little boy walks directly through the puddle and shows us what we may have already forgotten—walk straight ahead and you'll get there faster.

I smile and am glad I haven't forgotten that sometimes children can have bolder solutions than adults.

Splash, splash, let's go!

Risks

I was sitting and laughing with Nephew, remembering a Christmas funny moment. And, suddenly, Nephew says:

'I don't know why, but in ten years I expect to find this mentioned in one of your books.'

 

I was silent, amused, and then I concluded that it's not at all out of the question.

I think they say this about writers – be careful what you tell them, it could be the subject of their next book.

Loredana recommends „Când ești mic, ești fantastíc” ('When you're little, you are fantastic)

In her latest video, Loredana Bookinista08 talks about my new children's book.

I was very happy to find out that she liked the stories with magical realism. The other day, Nepot (my nephew) confessed to me that he was so impressed by the story "The Laughter That Skipped a Couple of Haircuts" that he now looks more carefully at people when they laugh; he even caught himself waiting to meet his own Laughter. If you are curious to learn about your own Laughter, you can order the book here.


And if you want to listen to Loredana's entire review, please watch from minute 9:41 to 12:12.

Let’s remain fantastic!

Why?

Every action has a motivation behind it.

The motivation behind writing the book “What Shall We Do About Health (?/!)” is simple. I want people to make informed decisions, to ask for at least a second medical opinion, and to beware of jobber-doctors (money-grubbers) and lackadaisical-doctors (bland, uncaring).

Free ebook about unpleasant experiences at the doctor's

The Romanian society has reached a crossroads in terms of medical services. And contrary to what is being said, the problem is not only the large number of doctors who emigrate. There have been many jobber-doctors (money-grubbers) and lackadaisical-doctors (bland, uncaring). And this has a negative impact on the health of the population. With an increasingly aging population, we cannot allow the situation to degenerate.

 

Have you had unpleasant experiences at the doctor's? Me too. And others also. I've gathered them in a book, so we don't feel alone and stay alert when receiving recommendations about treatment plans.

 

Why did I write this book?

• to encourage people to at least ask for a second medical opinion when it comes to a treatment plan.

• to raise awareness regarding some doctors that do not have the best intentions when recommending certain treatment plans.

 

The book in PDF format is available for free starting today. In both Romanian and English.

 

The structure of the book is as follows:

1. global and European Union statistics on the medical specialties described in the book.

2. medical specialties – definitions and statistics from Romania, followed by case examples – of which I mention a few, dentistry, medical rehabilitation, obstetrics and gynecology, urology, endocrinology, ophthalmology, but also private clinics (subscription for employees).

3. bibliography – websites consulted.

 

Important!

This book does not provide medical advice for any of the specialties mentioned.

It is also not a treatment guide for similar health problems that readers may have.

 

Click below to download your free copy.

In English - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OlW8uFvcbh7LEGCHEJwWlyJla0OBzO8x/view?usp=sharing

In Romanian - https://drive.google.com/file/d/14pyKzVXNoBUyojqODcPaXzSrbQMJHZhe/view?usp=sharing

I hope you’ll find it useful!

Laughter

In season 4, episode 7, Brenda from the series ‘Young Sheldon’ talks about her son Billy’s first day at school - ‘every time the Spanish teacher said sí, Billy asked see what?.’

And to this she concluded – ‘I know, but if I don’t laugh about it, I’ll cry!’

 

And so it is, or so I discovered that things are. In life, plenty of things can go wrong or incredibly sideways. When you feel powerless or don’t know what to do, better to start laughing at the situation than cry about it. 

Anyway, we cannot control everything, but we can laugh. And laughter gives us strength to go on, to try once more, to not give up, to not give into despair or depression. I remember having read this somewhere about depression and I liked it:

‘How do you steer away from depression?’

‘I laugh. When depression wants to kick in and sees me laughing, it thinks I’m stupid, so it moves on to the next fellow.’

Time

A line I heard in the series Dark (2017-2020) keeps lingering on my mind.

‘Why do people say that? We still have time. How can one say one has time when it’s clear that the time has one?”

Prints In The Snow

People say nothing lasts forever. And maybe so it is, what do I know?!

But we can try. Exactly like someone tried to leave their handprint in the snow that covered the trunk of a tree. A futile attempt, for the snow would soon melt and nothing will remain of it. But this picture will. Surely not an eternity, but it can continue the handprint’s existence, even though under another shape.

Exactly like a memory my dad has just given me, and still under another shape than initially. My dad remembered that while I was 3 or 4 years old, all four of us (mom, dad, my sis and I) could fit on a wooden sleigh. Now, I will also be one of the keepers of this memory, although I don’t remember it at all, being too young. I stored it safely, next to another dear memory of us four – at the cinema, watching the Mrs. Doubtfire movie, that started my pure love for Robbin Williams.

Let’s leave prints!

 

P.S. Darling, thank you for this print.