Wednesday 27 January 2021

The Ballad of the Colorless Strawberries – Zully Mustafa


This is a sweet story about the pursuit of happiness and the meaning of life. A brother and a sister, Căpșunici și Căpșunica, leave their home to search for ways to become colored and thus to make their parents happy.

Their journey is filled with adventures, but also unhoped friendships. Căpșunica and Căpșunici learn about nature, the importance of playing games and ... of freckles.

‘The Ballad of the Colorless Strawberries’ is different from the classic children’s stories, that mainly focus on the conflict between good and evil. Here, the focus is on discovery, on questions and finding answers, on fulfilling dreams, and trying to make the loved ones happy.

....

And he was well aware of the fact that adventures adorn the spirit, whether one is a cricket, a strawberry or even a human being.

...

And what type of person could disagree with the above?!

Monday 25 January 2021

Pride


For Music class, my nephew had to sing. He gave his best. Some say that that is the best he can do. But his aunt is so proud of him. And sure of one thing. There is no such thing as people that cannot sing, but songs that do not rise to the standards of some people’s voices.

Sunday 24 January 2021

The Best Piece of Advice

It's that time of year when people talk about resolutions, goals and advice.

While I've learned that plans can be overturned and goals (or the fact of not reaching them) can cause stress, I have nothing against advice. In fact, I do believe that the most important piece of advice is to keep the balance between personal and professional life.

I cannot stress this enough, balancing these two will keep us healthy. If not, we are bound to burn out or getting hurt.

Sunday 17 January 2021

Blown away

Every now and then I get in a discussion about the meaning of life.

Yes, I’ve read some famous philosophers’ works, I’ve talked with intelligent people, I even took time for myself (a sort of meditation, if you like) to think about things, and somehow the loop cannot be closed with only these things.

We are all obsessed with the purpose of us living now and in this place. And we would all love to get simple answers to some of our painful questions. Let me give it to you bluntly – there are no simple answers.

But I do ('believe in love' like Katie Melua would beautifully sing) get a grasp of things. From time to time. And here it goes.

That meaning. Oh, well, we get that meaning of life, of all the sacrifices we made, of all the heartbreaks, disappointments, disbeliefs, in that special moment when somebody does something in sheer altruism. It is such a breathtaking moment to witness that it is actually fine that it seldom happens. Even though the memory of it never goes away. It lingers and my take is that it keeps us from giving up on hope.

I’ve been blessed with a couple of moments of this sort. And it is such a wonder to be able to breathe through the emotion. But never before have the breaths meant more. And it is actually that air in your lungs the proof that the feeling and the happening are real. And so are you. Oh, the validation!

Thursday 14 January 2021

Reasons

 

(translated from Romanian - a place to sigh)

For some time now, I started gathering reasons for the misunderstandings encountered on my way. And the truth is, no matter how much I strive against them or even the very efforts I make in order to be clear, I still find myself in situations that are not as I had planned.

 

Reasons:


1. People do not listen.

Yes. Even those that do no have one eye on their smartphone or on their laptops or whatever is happening behind them. Well, I guess it’s easier to imagine what the person in front of one was saying than to actually listen.

 

2. People have lost their patience.

News, task prioritization, telephones that keep ringing, notifications to meetings that appear on the screen on the exact moment one is focused and thus loses one’s idea, meetings that last longer than set, family responsibilities that must be dealt with (especially now that we work from home), emails. All agitate us and make us tired. Short and to the point is how the message should be. Otherwise, one loses one’s reader or listener.

 

3. People do not care.

This is related to the aforementioned. What one says must be important or urgent so that people can focus on what it is communicated. This is not ill-will, but considering the age we are living, we must prioritize.

 

4. People do not read.  

This one is related to the first reason. Even when one makes efforts in order to communicate simply and to the point, the message does not get through. Some people skim-read. And they decide to understand whatever idea first came to their minds when they read one's first words.

 

Solutions

1. In writing – the subject.  

If one writes an email, one must also complete the idea of the email in its subject. In some cases, these might be the only words that the reader will read and process.  

 

2. In writing and speaking – be simple.  

This is by far the most important piece of advice for communicating nowadays. Well, one can use the word exhaustive. But if the purpose of the communication is not to seem scholarly, but to solve a task, it’s best to keep it simple. Do not forget: people run easily out of patience, especially when they are not interested in the subject presented.

 

3. Ask questions.

My experience has taught me that there is no such thing as dumb questions. Yes, one must overcome the idea that one will be considered an idiot for asking questions. If it helps, people would consider one an idiot if they pretended to understand something and actually did the opposite. Do ask questions! Seriously, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

It’s better to make sure one has properly understood something than blow it.

Quoting here Alan Alda: ‘If I understood you, would I have this look on my face?!’

 

4. Follow-up.

Let’s say one has successfully gone through all these steps. One was clear and simple in communicating and did not beat around the bush, and asked questions. Everything seems clear as water. For both parties.  

When the time comes for fulfilling the task, send a follow-up message with all the details. Yes, you, me, and a couple of people do know what we promised (apparently, there are not so many people that remember what they promised). But the rest... Well, the rest processes the information differently. Again, this is not about ill-will, but in order to make sure that one’s project is successful, the follow-up is mandatory. It will save you, actually.

Ok, there may be people that will find you nagging. My take is that it is better this way than to find yourself in a situation that blows in your face.

I wish you a successful communication!

Wednesday 6 January 2021

About Nothing

Nothing is a word far more used than one would believe.

‘What happened?’

‘Nothing.’

 

‘Is there something I can help you with?’

‘No, nothing.’

 

‘What did you say to him that upset him?’

‘Nothing!’

 

‘What is he saying?’

‘Nothing important.’

 

Aside from the use of the word, it hurts more, or if you wish, it affects us more when we are forced by circumstance to pretend that those nothings do not bother us.

Here below is a short enumeration, but I am sure that there are many others:

- When, due to circumstance, we must waste our time having discussions that do not seem to reach a conclusion. Not now, not soon enough.

- When others’ irresponsibility must be forgiven, sometimes to the detriment of our responsibility.

- When a work colleague acts as if she/ he is one’s boss, and although one is firm one is still bothered by the fact that she/ he insists on acting as the boss.

- When the trend is to exaggerate with making compliments, and because one does not do it, one is singled-out.

- When someone is so superficial in her/ his declarations that it almost makes one sick, but when one says something is seen as an attacker.

- When all the parties present understand that someone’s sayings are falsities, but no one says anything and thus they tacitly approve.

- When the status quo is make-belief.

- When one is obliged to listen to those that speak with a know-it-all tone.

 

All of the above may give you the impression that I might be a know-it-all myself. But no, I am not. Some things will, whether one gets involved or not in the act of change, always find their meaning and usage.

How do I deal with nothing? By laughing my heart out with those that are bothered by the same things as myself. By learning the lessons from the aforementioned situations – how to deal with frustration, how not to take it personally, how to embrace this ugly nothing and then release it before it ruins my composure, trust in people and expectations.

Usually, we want the bad things gone as soon as possible. But it so happens that these bad things are what help us appreciate the good things. From nothing towards meaning and essence. This is how the new year should unfold for us!