Books I've read in 2023 and I dearly recommend them

Dintre cărțile citite în 2023, cele de mai jos m-au încântat și le puteți lua în considerare dacă sunteți în căutare de ‘ceva bun de citit’.

 

A Sweet Death - Simone de Beauvoir 

Stela – Simona Goșu

The Invisible Woman and Other Stories – Slavenka Drakulic

Origins - Saša Stanišić 

Dominant Genes – Ștefania Mihalache

Who watches over the Watchers? – Dorel Vișan

Battles in the Desert – Jose Emilio Pacheco

Daniel Stein, translator – Lyudmila Ulitskaya

Strălucitor (Irradiant) – Viorel Ilișoi

Uprooting – Sașa Zare

Call me Esteban - Kalamujić, Lejla

Alice's murders – Guillermo Martinez

Emotional Intelligence in Leadership – Daniel Goleman

The Yellow Eyes of Crocodiles – Katherine Pancol

Whereabouts – Jhumpa Lahiri

Strung to the Ground – Lorina Bălteanu

Fresh Water for Flowers – Valerie Perrin

One of Us is Too Many - Sidonia Drăgușanu 

Freedom – Virginia Woolf

Outgrowing God – Richard Dawkins

The Need for Memories – Gheorghe Filip

I never belonged to You – Horațiu Lașcu

Traveling through Babadag – Andrzej Stasiuk

My Heroes – Viorel Ilișoi

The Dedauls Book of Slovak Literature – Peter Karpinsky

Humans – Matt Haig

When We were Happy – Jiyoung Gong

The Winters of the Soul – Katherine May

Vorbe la purtător în izmene pe călător – Ohara Donovetsky

The Bitch – Pilar Quintana

The Masks of Exile – Constantin Arcu

Killer Motive – Ann Girdharry

Echoes in the Memory of Time – Claude Spaak

About Woman's brain and Other Demons – Sofia Nădejde

A Lot of Force and a Gramme of Gentleness – Andrei Dosa

The Lost Shadow – Carmen Firan

The Analysis of the Mind – Bertrand Russell

Mariana Trench – Jasmin Schreiber 

Undoctored – Adam Kay

God is One Block of Flats Away – Ciprian Măceșaru

Lost on Planet China – J. Marteen Troost

Hatred – Anne Holt

Zen in the Art of Writing – Ray Bradbury

Purple Hibiscus – Chimamanda Adichie

The Physics of Sorrow – Gheorghi Gospodinov

The Sexual Life of Cannibals - J. Marteen Troost

The Queen – Liliana Nechita

The Book of Illusions – Paul Auster

Floriography – Jessica Roux 

Cousins – Karen McManus

All My Colors – David Quantick

The Lady with Dark Sunglasses – Sidonia Drăgușanu

Positive Work Environment

I have written about efficiency (here and here) because I think it is very important to clarify the ways employees can deliver their tasks, obtaining not only the delivery of them but also not feeling a lot of professional frustration while performing them.

Well, all of my recommendations gather under only one umbrella – a positive work environment.

 

What is a positive work environment?

Firstly, a positive work environment is an environment where one is respected and respects. It may sound outdated, but I do believe that without respect nothing can be built. Absolutely nothing. For it is the base for understanding, empathy, and willing to help colleagues/ managers deliver a project.

Elements of a positive work environment

To my mind, these are the most important elements of a positive work environment:

 1. Clarity of tasks

When one knows who does what there is no room for interpretations or misunderstandings. And, if I may, no room for playing the to and fro game with the tasks.

 2. The flow of information

Miscommunication. When it comes to failure of delivery of projects or misunderstandings within the company/ within the team, everybody points to miscommunication as the main reason. Thus, the flow of information from executant to manager and the other way around is paramount.

 3. Established and clear procedures

Whether one is new or not in a company, one must deliver tasks according to procedures. If they are not documented somewhere at everybody’s reach, chaos descends. I recommend also documenting internal procedures for delivery of tasks within a department. We are human and we can forget or make mistakes, and this is why it’s golden to have a document that one can consult to make sure one follows the correct procedure. I have created a Communication Handbook that my team and I use and we make sure to update it any time a change in a procedure appears or new procedures appear.

 4. Feedback flow

Any work relationship has at least two parties – manager and executant. Like any normal relationship, both parties contribute with recommendations or they raise concerns to make the relation work on the long term. Is the same case with professional relationships, if feedback does not flow both ways, we fail to recognize what we should improve. I know it’s hard for an executant to provide feedback to a manager, but if a manager understands the importance of bringing efficiency into the relationship this should be encouraged. No one needs a yes-man if one wants a working relationship.

 5. Accountability and trust

I think there’s none without the other. When an employee engages to deliver a task and for various reasons that are under her/ his influence this task cannot be delivered, the employee has several possibilities to manage the situation (inform in due time about the delay so a solution can be agreed upon by the parties, use other resources, skip some steps to finish in due time, etc.) – and this is accountability. When someone is accountable, they show trust and will to find solutions, and this is a long-term assurance for the management (and a definite con to continue to micromanage).

 6. Flexibility

This is not about remote or hybrid work. Even though employers have realized in the past few years that they have more to gain if they show more flexibility regarding this aspect. This is in regards to flexibility when finding solutions, delivering tasks and making compromises so that the parties can deliver.

 7. Safe environment

At the start of my career, I thought that I, as an executant, was not to ask questions because I might disturb the manager. But with failures coming after not clarifying some aspects, I understood that it is far better to bother/ annoy the managers with questions so that I can clarify everything I needed, instead of delivering something that can hurt us both or the company. A safe environment is where one is not afraid to ask questions (because one knows that the manager understands that this shows respect and the will to accurately deliver the tasks) or to address concerns regarding aspects one considers that should be changed because they have proven their inefficiency.

 8. Growth mindset

Every day we learn something. Even the ones that do not go to trainings. Nowadays society is built this way, given all the technical developments. But aside from this, one must keep oneself up to date with what happens new in one’s domain, and also learn about changes in the related fields. When we learn something new, dopamine is released in our brain, and this makes us more optimistic and have more trust in ourselves and the future.

According to a video I recently saw about the reasons why young talents tend to leave faster than experienced talents, the conclusion is this – remember: if they don’t grow, they go!

 

I do believe in my very core that people are always searching to improve things (see what happens in technology, and in the other sectors). All of the above are the result of the conclusions I have drawn during my professional experience, corroborated with ideas, conclusions, questions received from like-minded people that also feel the need for change and want to support the perpetuation of the positive work environment. Only together we can become strong enough to make this change come true.

 

If you have read this far, I want to thank you. And make you a gift consisting of a couple of questions. I invite you to answer them below or to simply ponder on them. Either way, talk about this with your friends, family, colleagues and find out what does a positive work environment mean to you. And they, in their own turn, can speak to others. And this is how change happens, because it is not enough to only talk about it, we must also act upon it.

 

Later addition

The other day, I spoke to a lady that used to work for an agency that I used to collaborate with while I was working somewhere else and that used to create visuals for us. The manager would only give one indication – it must be wow! Apparently, one would be tempted into believing that there’s a lot of creative spirit into this interjection. I beg to differ for an interjection cannot clarify what a person wants. And because the manager did not know what the final result should look like, the agency used to remake the visuals a lot. Until one day when the people from the agency realized how many resources they used in vain and how much time and effort was put into the remakes. So they added a new clause to the contract, stating that the first two remakes were free of charge, but starting with the third one the employer had to pay.

I remembered this aspect because, unfortunately, an employee cannot protect herself/ himself as an external collaborator can when it comes to remakes. Or, how a dear friend calls it, the work-in-vain cooperative. As a general rule, managers display the attitude ‘all the remakes are contained within your salary’ because employees are captive and being part of the manager’s team they will remake something as many times as the manager wants, with no explanations whatsoever, most of the times. And so I turn again to the idea of a positive work environment and to the fact that a manager must see to their executants and keep at low levels their frustration. When one works in vain and everything is directed to a big black hole, one feels frustration and loses the sense that their job can bring. I can’t stress enough how essential it is for an employee not to feel like this. 

What elements would you add to the list above?

What elements would you add to your work environment (from the list above, but also others) to make it (more) positive?

Who/ what impedes your work environment to become (more) positive?

Stories

It’s been a while since I came to the realization that my sister and I have been raised with proverbs and stories. My parents have many sayings and tales that can make one roar with laughter or ponder. I collected the most recent one and I share it here with you:

Decree 402, the boss drinks and so do you!

When and how to provide feedback

‘Don’t take it personally. It’s just something that you have to work on.’

How many times have you heard that?

Well, I’ve had my shares and still take it personally. Because, you know what?!, your work is personal, too! Efforts, results, time, attention, skills, all of this is you and yours. You put you into everything.

 

Is there a time to provide feedback?

Yes, by all means, yes. There’s a time and a place.

 

The where

Feedback should be given in a meeting, whether online or face-to-face (and not in front of the entire team, if it’s negative). This provides space for both parties to explain their points of view, but more importantly, this is how an actual exchange of thoughts regarding the points of view can be made. If feedback is seen just a one-way street (only from manager to employee) then this is not a healthy work relationship.

Managers might be trapped into thinking that with the job title they are bestowed absolute correctness, but managers are humans too and thus subject to error. A discussion is the perfect space to get things cleared up and expectations right in the open.

If you can help it, don’t provide feedback by email. An employee should feel encouraged to ask questions and usually an email is never a space to clarify things. People would get defensive or hurt and they would not show acceptance of the other party’s point of view.

Better to gather all feedback and talk about it during a meeting. This shows care and respect.

Of course, time is a scarce resource so if you are a manager with a large team is hard to set feedback meetings with each member of the team, but you can make sure that this is a constant point on your agenda for the 1x1 monthly meeting.

Feedback by email should be provided only if a person can make sure to put it in simple and clear terms. Otherwise, it could turn into an exchange of emails (or WhatsApp emails) that only makes the parties lose time, energy, and leaves them frustrated.

 

 

The time

If it’s positive feedback, then let nothing stop you (timewise or place-wise)! There is no limit for this as we all love to hear positive feedback, anytime. Unfortunately, this does not happen so often. Have you noticed how we insist on noticing or highlighting the bad instead of the good?!

Sure, human nature has an explanation for it. It’s not the good that keeps us safe from danger. But maybe we should change this. Millions of years ago, our brains started focusing on the negative because that was all that we needed in order to survive. But not anymore. Even though the stress endured by some employees can be compared with being chased by wild animals while holding a frail stick.

Have you noticed that in ‘The where’ I only referred to negative feedback?! I haven’t. Until I started writing about the positive here. See, this is what our brains do. Take a moment to ponder upon that, please.

 

If you are giving negative feedback – by meeting or by email – please do not provide it on a Friday afternoon! Coming back to the beginning of this article, people take feedback personally. Do you want to ruin their weekends, or do you want a long-term relationship based on trust and support? Even if an employee is an aikido disciple and has read The Art of Peace, they would still be troubled by the feedback.

We talk a lot about caring for employees with mindfulness courses, we talk about equality and diversion and inclusion, but a lot is ignored. A mindfulness course won’t save an employee from burnout or demotivation as long as an organization does not call out on unacceptable behaviors. 

Respecting the time for rest (whether the weekends or the rest of the time after the workday is done) – which is something that the French have already embraced with the legal right to switch off from work and employees no longer receive emails or phone calls after the typical work hours – is an important thing. But it’s not enough to make sure people do not stay overtime, other things should also be considered. One of them is showing care and interest on how one provides feedback. Sure, it’s not easy; doing the good thing never is. But if you want to foster a supportive environment and if you care for the mental wellbeing of your team, consider how you provide feedback and support that manner not only if you are a manager who provides feedback to the employees, but also if you are an executant and you give feedback to your peers.

Only talking about this idea of healthy organizations won’t change a thing. We must really consider the do’s and don’ts and take act.

Alarming

Apparently, we live in a world that no longer knows who Muttley is.

Sassafrassarassum Rick Rastardly!

Perspectives

A few weeks back, I heard a rock song on the radio that stuck with me. I liked the verses, but I was to find out it was a cover. Both versions are just as beautiful.

The first version - Tudor Gheorghe

The second version - Trooper

My Heroes – Viorel Ilisoi

If you have had enough of those ‘amazing’ and ‘must (do/ read/ etc.)’ things, then you’re just like me, searching for that human spark, sensibility and goodwill, and thus this book is exactly what you need.

Viorel Ilisoi artfully writes about his heroes. There is care and consideration in his words that seem to blossom from the story and carve the margins. For it seems to me that the stories he tells were already alive before he started telling them and they just needed attire made from Ilisoi’s words to gain a shape we could easily recognize.

I was deeply touched and gladden by his stories. There is such beauty in this rarely seen human kindness!

 

“...

The serious, severe, impenetrable professor suddenly becomes quiet, like a broken clock, and his eyes, like a piece of living glass steamed by the whiteness of old age, start to moisten. He keeps quiet for a long time, yet all his thoughts can be heard.

...”

How to Become Disciplined

I truly believe that useful habits can be learnt. For example, it is very important to realize the difference between personal time and work time. Actually, this is one of the most important lessons I learned, when it comes to self-discipline, and which unfortunately is not on the important-things-to-learn list.

One doesn’t have to reach burn-out status to start taking the necessary measures. To my mind, a healthy organization is one that regularly performs a due diligence check and makes sure that it has among its staff responsible managers, who are oriented not only towards results but also towards their people and who understand that they must not ruin the emotional stability and personal time of employees.

 

I know of companies that have dedicated internal teams to tackle ethics and professional complaints received from employees, but I must confess that they seem to rather put up a facade. They clean here and there but they never seem to get to the core of the problem. It is this approach that made me sick about joining the never-ending workshops about the values of an organization. When those presenting the values are the same as those that like to make a spectacle of the way they dribble the rules and principles in their favor because they are managers, what trust can a simple employee have in the fact that an organization really respects and understands its values?

In a nutshell, a company cannot expect honesty from its people if it shows them falsity.

 

Is there a connection between a company’s principles or values and discipline? Yes, there is. And when procedures are clear or updated constantly to reflect the work methods, employees will have a different employee experience, a better one, and they would be less stressed concerning the surprise element that can disturb an entire project.

It’s true, I was lucky to be guided by people who taught me the importance of self-discipline. Dad, for example, is the one that taught me how important it is to put an item back to its place, so that when one searches for it, one doesn’t turn the house upside down searching for it, and one can go with one’s eyes closed and reach it.

 

Recently, while talking about meetings, I realized that I have developed my way of being straight to the point and concise while I was part of a wonderful marketing team, a while back. When I learnt that a new regular weekly meeting with the extended team was to be scheduled to have a clearer perspective of all projects, I rolled my eyes in despair. This was also because I had just come out of a meeting that took place once every two weeks, and which instead of 40 minutes lasted two hours and a half. But the new meeting was not at all a waste of time and rarely did we exceed the given time, and if that happened it was only for five or ten minutes. Every participant was encouraged to give their updates in a concise manner and then we would go to the next one; and if someone needed help, they would receive at least some indications.  

 

What Is to Be Done

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of discipline is clarity. If things are not clear, one cannot organize oneself. Below, I have gathered all items I believe must be considered in order to improve self-discipline.

 

Cleaning

A first step in becoming more disciplined is to make the necessary cleaning – to find out about priorities and get a clear idea about what the goal is. Nevertheless, cleaning your desk or desktop could change your perspective, too.

 

Ask questions

I was mistaken to believe that my role as an executant would be just to deliver, and not to waste the manager’s time with too many questions. But more often than not, one gains more from asking the necessary questions. What seems like lost time for clarifying work tasks could become priceless during or at the delivery of the project. Do not be afraid to ask questions. Managers that are responsible and that wish for the project to go as planned (I learnt from my experience that there are some who do not want for the project to continue, but they do not share that information and instead they ask you to continuously rework the project, to remake PPT slides, change the colors of visuals, change the colors of the cells of Excel files, etc… because imagination has no limits when some are determined to waste your time) understand that things must be clarified in order for the task to be correctly delivered, but also that you are dedicated and want to understand all important aspects.

Experience can help one become proactive and have one prepare questions beforehand.

 

Stay focused

When asking questions, make sure you remain focused on the information you need to receive. Some, unintentionally, cannot help but divagate when asked something. Yet others are aware of it and are willingly doing it because they do not know the answer and are trying to buy time. One must always remain focused on the purpose of one’s question and insist on receiving the answer. Responsible managers will admit when they do not know the answer and will come back with it as soon as they receive the information because they understand that that information is crucial for you to deliver the task/ the project.

 

Learn from mistakes

Immediately after delivering a task, try to analyze it and find errors, omissions, or maybe information that you did not have or persons that you did not include (sometimes, it is hard to ask for help but fortunately for all of us there are people who will gladly support you and on which you can rely on – long may you live, helpers! You know very well who you are.).

 

Make a plan

It does not have to be an elaborate plan, but one that contains the main actions (so that it’s easier for you to know the status, and if delays happen you can work on rearranging priorities) will help you very much.

 

Anticipate

Whether we talk about things or people (from which we need to receive information) that can ruin the delivery of your project, it’s good to always check your plan and anticipate where issues may happen.

  

Document

I make use of two types of documenting. The first one is about the present, and the second one is about the future.

 

About the present

If delays or changes appear regarding the initial elements, take notes of the actual situation, together with the new date when you should deliver something (here are some indications on how to be more organized).

 

For the future

If things turned out as planned, take notes for the future so that you know the steps you followed (especially, if it’s a recurrent project). If something went wrong, do take notes regardless of whether you are going to work again on that project or a similar one; it can happen that this information could be helpful for another type of project – in a nutshell, this is where you learn from your mistakes.

 

Like any habit, discipline cannot be learned in a heartbeat. Take things one step at a time, preferably the ones I presented above, and following constant efforts you will notice the advantages.  

Friday Mood

Tanya Atapattu – Things My Mother told Me

 

Karela

I am not a fan of cooking. But I recently tried something and I want to recommend it to you.

In the Obor Marketplace, there is an Indian shop (on the first floor of the building where fruits and vegetables are sold). We were intrigued by these fruits. Later, I was to find out that there are actually vegetables, so we bought some to try.

I cooked karela and I really enjoyed it. It is true, it has a bitterness to which we are not accustomed but it's worth it. I followed this recipe and I recommend you give it a go.

I did not use mango or mango powder, but the red onion and the tomato blend beautifully and they cover with their sweetness the bitterness of karela.

Online meetings – how to speak

I covered a lot of recommendations on communicating in writing, so let’s get further on how we should better communicate when we are live (or on screens).

Things have changed a lot due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and now everyone can be a host for the meetings that we have with our colleagues or managers. They say some are gifted showmen or showwomen, but I truly believe the skill of capturing an audience can be taught.

Here are my tips on how to prepare and how to act during a meeting that you are hosting.

 

Preparation

Since almost all meetings have as support a presentation, be extracareful regarding the content and the way it’s displayed.

Contentwise, try to put the information as simple as possible. Always have in the back of your mind an aunt to address to and thus to check if this would be something that she could grasp (now, far be it from me that aunts are not bright people - I am actually an aunt myself and can’t stop bragging about it, I even own a proud aunt T-shirt – but it’s just so that you position yourself out of experts’ area).

 

Important – brain remember stories, not data. So have this in mind next time you have slides after slides depicting Excel screenshots.

 

Once the content is included, get some help from a picky fellow – be it a colleague or your manager – to help you notice errors (punctuation, typos, etc.) or important topics you might have missed.

 

Your presentation is good to go and, hopefully, you still have some days until the meeting. I like to call this step the display check. It is actually when you start practicing explaining the presentation to the audience. Take some time to get yourself familiarized with all content, but also think about how you can put into words everything that you have to present.

Usually, the content on slides act only as support. You are the one that can make the content turn into a beautiful experience for the audience, adding some explanations to the figures or charts you have on slides.

 

At this point, be observant of your tone of voice, your facial mimicry (look at yourself in the mirror to see if your face expressions are in tune with your message) and the speed with which you are talking. Should you have an important meeting you have to host, you can always ask a colleague to give you a couple of minutes from their time to test with them how would it be (you do not have to show the entire presentation, just 10 minutes will do) so that you know what should you work more on.

From my experience, we tend to be in a hurry. When we are stressed or not used to talking in front of an audience, we tend to expedite things so we can escape the unpleasant situation. This is normal. It’s our bodies telling us we should escape the danger. But hosting a meeting is not like being chased by a tiger, even though the stress we feel might seem at the same level.

To lower your anxiety you have to consider two things: breathe and take your time.

Remember what I mentioned earlier about brain only remembering stories? Well, this should really be considered at this stage. The tone of your voice and how you explain things should be like telling a story – with calmness in your voice and being willing to respond to questions in case people do not understand something.

 

Before the meeting, think again about the fact that you are not in danger, you are simply explaining some information you gathered in a presentation. You worked hard for it, now let people see how well-prepared you are. You deserve it, that is your efforts should be recognized, so do not let nerves get the best of you.

Oh, and so you know, practice is what makes perfect – so the often you try, the more you will look and feel better when hosting a meeting.

 

At the meeting. Well, there it is. You may experience sweaty hands, trembling voice, you’ll misread, misspell, and sometimes you will make unwanted long pauses to find your words, and you know what?! It’s totally normal. What you must focus on is that you need to continue through or despite all of that.

And another point, regarding time, make sure you allocate enough time to answering questions or let the audience interact with you. A meeting should never be a one-way-street, otherwise it’s not productive or interesting, it’s just a meeting that could have been a video.

 

After the meeting. A lot of today’s meetings are recorded so that the information presented could be accessible, at a later moment, to those that could not attend the meeting. If the meeting you hosted was recorded, watch the recording two days after the meeting, at the latest. The reason is that this way you would have already forgotten some of the stress you felt during the meeting, some of the explanations you gave, and it would be easier to analyze yourself. Pay attention to what you could improve regarding the tone of your voice (if you were too low or too loud), your facial mimicry, if the explanations you provided were coherent and in connection to what it was presented on the slides. If you should notice that your voice was trembling or that you had made too many long pauses, don’t beat yourself up. Give it time, you’ll get to the point where you won’t make these errors so often.

 

If the meeting cannot be recorded, on the day of the meeting, ask a colleague of yours to take notes regarding what you should improve. On the next day (yes, you should allow yourself to breathe a little, and also the colleague to gather all ideas for the recommendations), talk with your colleague about what you should consider for a future meeting.

Young at Heart

My nephew knows that I can be described as young and tall.

My friends and family know that I like the color purple and that I love dogs. But most of all, I love suprises. The funnier the better.

Recently, I have been told that I will turn 40. Anyway, so they say. Of course, those that do not usually ask me if I am legally allowed to drink alcohol. I’m fluffing up my feathers (since I’ve been compared to a crane) and keep on smiling.

Puppy yoga

When I saw this poster, at the start of the year, I never imagined I could experiment with this type of session in Bucharest.

But puppy yoga exists in Bucharest too and I was very glad to have been offered the chance to go. I figured that I would not do to much yoga and that I would mostly concentrate on cuddling the puppies. But still, some yoga was done.

At the start of the class, the puppies were going from one mat to the other, stopping for those that seemed to have the most gentle caressing. The most points were won by a participant who put himself on his back and thus two puppies endulged in chewing his ears.

When a puppy would get close to my mat, I would stop and caress it, but then I thought it’s better to leave them wander about since it could be really tiredsome to stop for people to caress you.

And tiredsome must have been, for a puppy stopped at my mat, got into the donut position and didn’t move until we all started to leave. I was extracareful not to bother her (she was a girl named Luna - it means moon in Romanian), even though she did not seem bothered because she was snoring and nor was she disturbed when I kissed her a couple of times on her little head. At the end, when she opened her eyes (one blue and one green), I said my goodbyes with a big smile and grateful for the benefit this cuteness brought me.

The Art of Conversation

I have always found it difficult to initiate a conversation, especially with strangers. When I was little, I remember how fascinated I was with how easy it was for my dad to start talking with anyone, strangers with whom he had to share the time in a waiting room, wagon or, simply, waiting in line.

Most of the times, it was small talk, but other times there was this exchange of jokes, useful or even wonderful information. And when this happened, I was convinced that it is not the worst thing to break silence and try not only to acknowledge the presence of others but also to celebrate it. Then, at the end, to say goodbye like between old friends, being aware of the fact that you might never meet them again.

Breakfast at Rapsodia Guesthouse, in Suceava. We sat at a large table and an older lady was there too. Hearing her talk with the personnel, we realized she was a foreigner, so we greeted her in English, and then silently stood there, waiting for the food to arrive. We exchanged a couple of glances and smiles with the lady, but the silence remained undisturbed. And then, with a simple ‘I’m sorry, I do not speak Romanian, and it’s always sad not to be able to talk with the persons while you’re sitting next to them’, she started the most wonderful conversation I ever had at breakfast, while also giving me a lesson about the art of conversation.

In the past, there weren’t so many ways to beat boredom, so one had to talk with others if one did not carry a book or a rebus. Today, we tend to look downwards even if we do not stare at a screen, while trying to avoid eye contact.

Recently arrived in Romania with a group of motorcyclists, the lady told us about the landscapes and people she met. And even though she was way over 65 years old, she was more lucid and passionate then some youngsters. Her voice had a gentle tone, and she would often smile, while her eyes showed some sparkles that could be interpreted as a hunger for seeing and knowing many more things. Her white long hair had a mid-back length, and she was wearing only one earing, in her left ear. She had been away from home for more than three months and she had crossed many borders, but the one to Romania seemed the most difficult – and this reminded her of a time when people were supposed to wait longer to cross borders and to have papers checked under scrutiny while trying not to give a hint of a smile so not to raise suspicion for the customs officer. She was impressed by the many churches she had seen so far and the fact that there were so many in the town of Suceava. But what impressed her the most was the kindness and generosity of people she had met after crossing Romania’s border. Especially those people that lived in poverty and did not know a word of a foreign language. She smiled while she was deeply moved by telling the story of the time when they were caught in the rain, on a country road. They found shelter for them and the motorcycles under a big tree, by the side of the road. Soon, they heard a voice. They could not understand what they were told, but from the body language of the old woman sitting in front of the gate, they could make out that she invited them inside. They returned the signs, trying to convey that it was ok, that they will wait there for the rain to stop for they did not want to bother her. But the old lady kept insisting, conveying that it was dangerous to remain there for the risk of lightning. So they followed her in a shabby yard, where they were warmly greeted and where they stood until the rain stopped. When leaving, they tried all the signs to show their gratitude to the old lady, feeling sorry that they could not express some of it in Romanian words.

And so it happened that through this lady’s story we also received the present of humanity, when one does not need much in order to do good. Giving from the abundance of what you had received from others guarantees one a place in Heaven, my dad used to tell us when we were little. And yes, dad is right. 

Heaven on Earth

Us, humans, are blessed to find joy in many things, we just have to open our eyes to it. I found, by mistake, the link to this video and my heart overflowed with joy. It got filled with memories, laughter, childhood, with the smell of summer and vacation, with Romanian Radio Station that brought us so much joy (musical, too).

Yes, indeed, heaven is on earth. Let’s run about it for a little while!

Apparently, people now think I am Italian

‘What is your name?’

‘Emilia Muller.’

‘I did not get that. Could you please repeat?’

‘Emilia Muller.’

‘Ah, ok. Can you repeat your surname?’

‘Sure. My name is Emilia and my surname is Muller.’

‘Oh, so Emilia. And the other name?’

‘Muller.’

‘Muller? Oh, so you’re Italian?’

‘No, I am Romanian.’

‘Oh. Strange!’

From trips

I found this jewel, while on the streets of Rome.

Translation from the Italian:

When I close my eyes, I see everything I've seen. There are two ways to see: that of the body and that of the soul. That of the body can sometimes forget, that of the soul always remembers. (A. Dumas)