The Art of Conversation

I have always found it difficult to initiate a conversation, especially with strangers. When I was little, I remember how fascinated I was with how easy it was for my dad to start talking with anyone, strangers with whom he had to share the time in a waiting room, wagon or, simply, waiting in line.

Most of the times, it was small talk, but other times there was this exchange of jokes, useful or even wonderful information. And when this happened, I was convinced that it is not the worst thing to break silence and try not only to acknowledge the presence of others but also to celebrate it. Then, at the end, to say goodbye like between old friends, being aware of the fact that you might never meet them again.

Breakfast at Rapsodia Guesthouse, in Suceava. We sat at a large table and an older lady was there too. Hearing her talk with the personnel, we realized she was a foreigner, so we greeted her in English, and then silently stood there, waiting for the food to arrive. We exchanged a couple of glances and smiles with the lady, but the silence remained undisturbed. And then, with a simple ‘I’m sorry, I do not speak Romanian, and it’s always sad not to be able to talk with the persons while you’re sitting next to them’, she started the most wonderful conversation I ever had at breakfast, while also giving me a lesson about the art of conversation.

In the past, there weren’t so many ways to beat boredom, so one had to talk with others if one did not carry a book or a rebus. Today, we tend to look downwards even if we do not stare at a screen, while trying to avoid eye contact.

Recently arrived in Romania with a group of motorcyclists, the lady told us about the landscapes and people she met. And even though she was way over 65 years old, she was more lucid and passionate then some youngsters. Her voice had a gentle tone, and she would often smile, while her eyes showed some sparkles that could be interpreted as a hunger for seeing and knowing many more things. Her white long hair had a mid-back length, and she was wearing only one earing, in her left ear. She had been away from home for more than three months and she had crossed many borders, but the one to Romania seemed the most difficult – and this reminded her of a time when people were supposed to wait longer to cross borders and to have papers checked under scrutiny while trying not to give a hint of a smile so not to raise suspicion for the customs officer. She was impressed by the many churches she had seen so far and the fact that there were so many in the town of Suceava. But what impressed her the most was the kindness and generosity of people she had met after crossing Romania’s border. Especially those people that lived in poverty and did not know a word of a foreign language. She smiled while she was deeply moved by telling the story of the time when they were caught in the rain, on a country road. They found shelter for them and the motorcycles under a big tree, by the side of the road. Soon, they heard a voice. They could not understand what they were told, but from the body language of the old woman sitting in front of the gate, they could make out that she invited them inside. They returned the signs, trying to convey that it was ok, that they will wait there for the rain to stop for they did not want to bother her. But the old lady kept insisting, conveying that it was dangerous to remain there for the risk of lightning. So they followed her in a shabby yard, where they were warmly greeted and where they stood until the rain stopped. When leaving, they tried all the signs to show their gratitude to the old lady, feeling sorry that they could not express some of it in Romanian words.

And so it happened that through this lady’s story we also received the present of humanity, when one does not need much in order to do good. Giving from the abundance of what you had received from others guarantees one a place in Heaven, my dad used to tell us when we were little. And yes, dad is right.