Texas

 

Wisdom

Nothing new with this – my sister and I were raised on proverbs.

Every time I speak on the phone with my folks, they proudly mention witty sayings from our folklore. I often laugh. But mostly, my heart fills with pride, for these sayings come to serve me as attire, masking reality when it seems to stubbornly display itself as ugly and unjust.

 

Don’t you worry, there will be warm in the summer.

I wait. And I hope, since my folks always taught us to be optimistic.

 

The ox has also a long tongue, but he only can utter moo!

Let nothing you dismay. What is big can be small in the eyes of others.

 

 

I just got lost

Every river that I tried to cross

Every door I ever tried was locked

Oh, and I'm just waiting 'til the shine wears off

 

You might be a big fish

In a little pond

Doesn't mean you've won

'Cause along may come a bigger one

And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross

Every gun you ever held went off

Oh, and I'm just waiting 'til the firing stops

Oh, and I'm just waiting 'til the shine wears off

When

When I long for you, I sigh. What an ordinary gesture! And rather stupid. I unite this loss of you with boredom, when your existence was anything but boring.

When I long for you, I frown and I clench my lips, as if the air lost through them could erase you from my mind.

When I long for you, I have a heavy heart ‘cause all that it knows is to ask without listening to reason.

When I long for you, I am you. Absent/ present and sad/ cheerful. And I am embraced by that lovage and fresh stum smell, and I see that water glass that has brown circles on it (is this the reason why for years now I have surrounded myself with objects that have geometric shape patterns?!).

When I long for you, I cease to exist. This is the only way for me not to feel the loss. And I still haven’t got accustomed to losing. It’s only natural to lose, but I am stubbornly refusing to do so, and it hurts, it hurts too much this loss. And I’m longing. And this longing transforms itself into a blob of paint crushed by a brush onto a white canvas – I slowly spread onto the canvas, I cover it and lose myself into it, as well. I cover myself because it’s far simpler to lose yourself when you think about others.

The Corporation in Arges, the literary magazine

The first issue of this year of the literary magazine Arges includes a review written by Cristian Melesteu about my book The Corporation. Typologies and Survival Guide. Thank you!

You can browse through the magazine by clicking here (it's only in Romanian).

‘Return to myself’ and ‘Remain to me’ by Alex Andronic

These two books are a roll of feelings that the one carefully unfolds, not because it is imposed on one, but because one needs to truly absorb the experiences told, the conclusions drawn, the questions asked, and one needs to confrunt all of them, look at oneself, to wonder and to forgive oneself.

The readers are witnessing a dissection that is moderately carried out, but not less painful.

In și ‘Remain to me’ we have interventions of the Self directed to the Little Self. Only those that never experienced loss, suffering, depression cannot understand the necessary and beneficial role they have.

And because no matter what I write, you will be more convinced by the contents of the book, Ițve chosen excerpts from each one of the two books.

 

Excerpt from ‘Return to myself’

‘ ...

I think this is the first thing I understood during the first years I started going to therapy, that a negative thing should and must not cancel the positive ones. It took me a lot of time to understand how high the impact of an action that we make can have, and most of the times we never think before it. When did you last scream at someone? When did you last snapped at someone? Did you tell someone you cannot stand them, even though that’s not true? I did.’

 

 

Excerpt from ‘Remain to me’

‘ ...

The truth is that love is never a certainty; it’s a continuous battle between what we feel and what we think we should feel. It is a pledge we make with ourselves, putting all our hopes on the illusion that, this time, it can be different. ’

There are Rivers in the Sky – Elif Shafak

Maybe the gentleness I feel coming out of Elif Shafak’s writing is the reason for my adoration for her books. The latest one is beautifully murmuring and enveloping the reader who finds oneself, at the moment of finishing the book, in utter revival. This is an exquisite book that I beg you not to miss!

 

An excerpt from the book:

 

‘…..

Arthur considers. ‘Mr. Bradbury always told me I was good at seeing what others did not see – I am not sure whether that counts as talent’.

The author smiles. ‘It sounds like quite the gift to me. Perhaps you need time to discover how to use it. The sun is weak when it first rises, and gathers strength and courage as the day goes on.’

….’

 

You’ll understand the reason for the video below after having read the book, I promise.

All the Chances in the World

How does one know that nothing can stand against one, and even the wildest dreams can come true?

When one writes to one’s Nephew to thank for sending that traditional Turkish Koz Helva that one has been craving for so long, and the Nephew replies in French.

All set, 2025, I am ready!

The Biggest Gift

 

The First Lesson

I've already received the first lesson of the year from a 6 years old girl who travelled alone for a 3 hours flight - when you're lonely, sing to yourself to keep brave.