The Blue Dragonfly

The other day, I was engaged in a conversation regarding the Danube Delta. And about the fact that even though I was born and raised very close to it, I only managed to visit it while I was 24 years old. Thanks to a friend that had a friend in the Murighiol locality.

Good old friends! It’s mostly due to them that one gets to see precious things one had in their vecinity, but which they have ignored or have considered that they had plenty of time to see, anyway, and have postponed the visit for another time.

It’s a serious illness this ‘another time’. I am putting it down here, both for me and for you. In case I forget, do remind me of it! For our time is here and nothing and no one can guarantee for tomorrow. And we know that. Just like we know that every day the sun rises, and in the evening it sets. Or maybe, because we know this, that’s why we do not cherish time? Would this be the explanation?!

Even though we went to the Danube Delta in the middle of August, we shivered with cold while on boat, going from one channel to another. The stops, actually, made us really happy. One – because the temperature would become rather friendly. Especially, to our clothes. For they were absolutely inappropriate considering the draft there. We had the highest expectations. But we found out that they were not the most befitting. The expectations, I mean.

Two – because everything would calm down. The hoarse hum of the engine of the boat would fade out, the water would no longer be stirred by circles and white foam that came from our boat, and when the sun would come out of the clouds (for it was a cloudy day), the heat embraced us and made us totally bespelled by it.

Looking at a distance, flocks of birds, water lilies and pelicans would whitely embroider the scenery. It is something in the way nature swathes and shows one that humanity is at its mercy. And not the other way around. Even though it lets one believe that. It is exactly like in the story that my mother used to tell me. I don’t remember where had she heard it from. It was a story about horses. About the fact that people put blinders to the horses’ eyes so that they are not able to see just how small people actually are. If they knew, they would definitely crush them and no longer carry the burden for them.

And as we lingered there, exactly in the midst of a great power, we would look downward, to the water lilies. A vague sour smell was rising. And it was then I saw it. The blue dragonfly. It was sitting on a water lily leaf. Then, it gently started flying. I reached out my hand and, as if at a sign, it landed on my palm.

And I won’t deny it. I am a fan of the concrete nature, the town that is. It is there where I feel safe, knowing that I do not risk crossing a snake’s way. But, in that moment, I felt what magic is. And thus, admit that nature is beautiful. And full of surprises.

Just like the one I was able to experience while in Montepulciano, Italy. It was dark and we were housed outside the city. I walked to get there and mistakenly took the light guiding us for the moon. But it was not. Thousands of fireflies were hovering around us, giving a slight humming noise. I realized, in that moment, that there had been a while since I last saw fireflies. It was when I was a child and summers in the city were not characterized by pollution. The fir outside the block of flats I was living was their favourite meeting point, for it was there where I would generally see them in large numbers.

And so it seems that pollution has gotten way stronger. Talking with a ten years younger colleague about all the above, I found out that she had never seen a firefly. And it got me thinking... when was the last time I saw a firefly? It’s been a while. Maybe that time with the blue firefly. But what about you? Can you tell me where can we find fireflies?

How to Become Immortal

A while ago, I went to the doctors for the health checkup before being hired (the checkup included also a psychological test). The she-psychologist asked me what I would do if I were invisible for one day. Probably expecting to receive answers such as robbing banks, killing without leaving traces and other crimes, her face lighted up - exactly the way an adult would when a child tells them that it has been good and it deserves ice-cream – when I told her that I would go to libraries in order to read books and watch movies.

My answer – very sincere, actually – reminded me of the equation I want to solve until my life is over. Namely, that I want to know the trick in order to come back from the dead in order to wander through libraries and read the rest of the books that I had not had the time to read, but also those that were published after I’m gone. I must admit, I have asked around and nobody seems to know how to solve it. I will keep on asking. Hey, who can stop me from asking?!

But since I know that in order for things to happen, you have to make some things happen, I said to myself that I won’t sit around and wait, but I’ll take action. Still, it’s rather difficult to take action when it comes to an equation that seems not to have been solved yet. Or, if someone has managed to solve it, I am not in the know. Please, remain alert! And generous, especially if you should find yourselves knowing this information.

The idea about taking action stroke me while I was listening to someone telling a story about a person that acted in such a wonderful manner that it touched my interlocutor’s heart. And so I surprised myself thinking: ah, here’s a drop of immortality! It’s right here. In the interlocutor’s mind and experience. But also, in my conscience, too. And maybe even in someone else’ if I should tell it, too.

Thus, I started putting pen to paper and think about certain things that could ensure a somewhat immortality. Should you have other ideas, please share them with me! And I also encourage you to solve the aforementioned equation. My trust in you is immeasurable. And so is my hope.

Deeds that bring immortality:

1.     Do you have more than one sample for an item? Do you use only one of them, keeping the others intact or you just think it’s better to have a stock in case of need? Give away! Not everything. But a sufficient number that would make your home free of the things you do not use and thus, gaining more space for yourself. Moreover, you’ll feel good about yourself making a good deed (yes, apparently, we live in a world where Joey is right and there are no selfless good deeds). If you hate the thought of giving your things to your neighbors, there are a lot of associations that receive various types of things. In Bucharest, there are a couple of centers that receive clothes, shoes, etc., and these go directly to the persons in need.

2.     Be good to strangers. Every day we swim through life alongside people that are also passing by, trying to reach their destination. We are obstinate and focused on getting ahead, to push and elbow our way through, while stepping on toes and swearing. What if we could take a step backwards and make way for people, to say ‘thank you’, ‘please’, and ‘you’re welcome’? We know how good that made us feel when it happened to us.

3.     Smile. Exactly like yawning, the smile is contagious. Think about the gift of welfare you will be giving to people around you.

4.     Don’t give advice! Well, only give advice when asked. I’m pretty sure that already happened to you, too. When you feel the need to just talk about a situation and having someone to listen to you. That’s all, just listen. Usually, people consider giving advice because they feel that it’s the only way to show the interlocutor that they were listening.

5.     Cheer up the people around you. Sure, there is no need to buy clown costumes and red noses, but think about this – on a bad day, not focusing on the issue, and just detaching ourselves from it and think about a joke we could share with the others? So what if a joke won’t change the issue? It will definitely change the vibe. And detaching – trust me, I’ve already tried it – does miracles to finding solutions.

And here is the end to my list. I am pretty sure that there are still things to add to it. Should you have other ideas, you’ll find me standing on this bench. No need to shout! I am not totally swept away in the books I read.

Ana Barton

Ana Barton’s books were recommended to me during the course of a job interview. Yep, so actually there are not just bad stories I can tell about job interviews! It happens that I also have beautiful experiences while going to a job interview; and from the top of my mind, I can recall one that led to the presence of that person to the launch of my first novel - 'The Sewing Club' - and another one that left me with book recommendations.

I conscientiously wrote the name of the writer, since I am always looking for Romanian writers that dazzle me with their talent. I do not know you’re opinion on this, but I am getting rather tired of the opinion that all the foreign movies/ all the foreign writers are better than the local ones. So, helped by Vlad, I keep myself busy with enlarging a list of writers, I read and make de gustibus recommendations (for I have this flaw of not being able to detach myself from myself and my likes).

The first book I read, written by Ana Barton, was ‘The Windowsill of God’, and it blew my mind. Soon after this, I read ‘The Common Immortals’ and I experienced the immortality of feelings. Thus, I ordered more of her books, three actually. And I kept them on a shelf for trying times, for times when I’ll be needing to feel like I am living, that my life has a meaning and the meaning within me is not nor has it got me lost – according to the recommendations of the person that recommended me the books of Ana Barton.

Reading ‘Mammal’, I went back to my childhood. To that child I used to be and which Ana Barton mentions that it is best that we keep close to us so that we can still keep the good inside our souls.

Words turning into stories… It’s something magical in the way Ana Barton weaves a connection between them. As if, reading them one finds oneself opening heavy doors from past lives and finds one’s old self there, bespeckled with blue ink, fascinated with the gentleness of one’s family, with the thought that the adults from one’s family are all gods, omniscient and omnipotent gods, that stopped from what they were doing and came home in the late afternoon in order to bring one the heel of a hot loaf, herbal tea during winters, pickled tomatoes and almost-pickled carrots during late autumns and witty sayings that would accompany one forever.

There is a description within ‘Mammal’ that rings so many bells! It’s a description about petite women, restless and powerful. But who also get so mad that they seem like tornadoes, and their ferocity seems to calm just as fast as they started.

Ana Barton’s style of writing is very dear to me. Reading her books, I feel like she knows me. If you find yourself next to one of her books, do buy it. You will experience what is often explained, but rarely found – true literature. 

Let's lose the falsity!

One could say that my great skill is communication. Be it written or oral. And just like any other person with the same skill, I have to deal with communication issues every day. Mine or other people's issues. Have I shocked you by recognizing that I also have communication issues even though I have communication skills?! Well, this is the naked truth. We are people, and far from perfection. That we tend towards it, is another story.

When I find myself in large groups, it may happen that my voice is never heard. I am rather busy with listening, than trying to state opinions that might get me into trouble. I have previous experiences, believe me, and I have learned that getting into trouble happens more often when you're caught babbling just to make some noise and particularly when you don't listen attentively enough. So, I have learned my lesson, and know now that it is better to listen carefully and decide afterwards if there is something I want to say or not.

Like I stated, I have communication skills and I am constantly on the search for information, curious to know what my peers have to say. And what comes up below is my blunt reaction to an interview I have just read.

Here am I, within a category that states that I am no longer that young, and constantly finding myself around opinions that vilify the younger generations. I know, it's a given. This gap between generations will never cease to be addressed to. Young people are judged for bing superficial. But yet, I saw it everywhere. Even when I was in primary school, and these younger generations where not yet born.

I am telling you, I have been developing a problem - and it is in constant enlargement - against prejudice. Even if one person has one or several experiences to back that prejudice up, that does not mean that one is entitled to misjudge a whole generation. Young people are today exactly as they have been yesterday or the day before that. Sure, here we have the smartphone. I have the same aversion towards the robots walking around in the metro stations that make for perils for themselves and the people around them (especially, those who walk behind them) because they just gaze into their smartphone screens and nothing else. Ok, there is the internet. Yes, young people today are able to do a lot of things that you could have not done in the past, but I am truly sick and tired of hearing/ reading interviews of great career people that affirm the folllowing:

    - The issue with the young generation today is that the senior employees have to work double in order to make for the superficiality of the youngsters who fail to adapt to work tasks. (How many times have I not heard the exact reverse statement!)

    - Young people today are far more sensible (and I dare to translate this into 'they are no longer willing to accept the shit that our generation was glad to deal with').

    - Young people are no longer willing to make efforts for their careers (again, I dare to translate this into 'they are not into spending hours on end doing overtime in order to receive a fantastic raise of 5 lei to their salaries and, eventually, when a new-comer accepts to work for a lower salary to be thrown overboard').

    - We are in constant need of optimistic, outgoing colleagues because we are a family. Thank God, I have experience having colleagues that understood the concept of teamwork, that never left you behind no matter what, but work is not synonym to family (here is where the concept of remunation kicks in). And, moreover, after making the above statements, with the arrogance of a senior looking down at their younger colleagues that are superficial, far too sensible and creating frustration among peer seniors, I cannot believe you are able to treat them like family).

And now, this brings back memories of some personal experiences I had to endure by interacting with such exquisite career people:

  - I had applied for a role that had the book at its center. After 5 minutes into the interview, I was told, though, that there was a special need for a different kind of individual than me, an individual that could be totally dedicated to the project; and since I already had a hobyy, I was disqualified (I deducted, thus, that the hobby in question was me having written books).

  - I have never worked in an advertising agency. People in advertising agencies work really hard. I tried explaining to my interviewer that at the place I was working at I was working my fingers to the bone. But I was straighten up that I had not the faintest idea about what hard work really was (and here is the explanation to this post, when I stated that one should not insist of giving proof to someone who has already made up their mind).

-  Even though I was not fit for the job, I was advised to come for a day and thus take a day off from my current employer and spend it at my potential employer's office. The explanation - we are like a family, and I have proved myself in the past to be bad at picking people to be part of our team, and thus I am now letting the team decide if we want to take someone on or not. How much can one find out from only a day spent in the office? And how much can a person be read on their first day? And why people like this believe they are entitled to commit abuses and ask a person to take a vacation day without offering to pay for that day?

A humble request, if I may: let's stop from projecting ourselves into people who know it all, people that are perfect and they know very well who is to blame and truly understand the context.
And, please do listen, people! Communication is a two-way street. You have ears, so use them!

Compulsory reading: Ion Baiesu - The Scales

I am not sure if I understand the book better because I have seen the movie, or I understand now better the movie because I have just finished reading the book. One thing is for sure. Ion Baiesu's characters are sketched in such a manner that equals perfection. They are not just forms, taking shape by means of tedious description of their physique, surroundings or occupation. I even dare to affirm that the most beautiful thing about the way Ion Baiesu presents the characters is that he introduces them to us by showing their psyche, obvious through their sayings, verbal tics and their reactions to certain situations. It is just like seeing first the seed and then the hard shell. Majestical!

'The Scales' is not a novel that centers upon a love story. Of course, there are a man and a woman who fall in love. But they are not central to it. Other pitoresque characters bring up or incite to reflection about the given things, the assumed things and, of course, the prejudice. A lot of remarks makes one roar with laughter, as there are other that makes one ponder. I selected two small paragraphs, please see below:

“…

'Look', he was explaining to the bed neighbor, a very thin old man with sunken eyes, 'this radiography shows a black spot on the right lung, something as big as an orange'. 

'How big is an orange?' asked the old man.

'You don't know how big is an orange?'

'Well, if it does not grow here, in these parts…'

...”

“…

'Titi, this is rubbish, there are only thoughts. To my mind, I think that death shouldn't concern us, but life, with all its moments. Our salvation from the fear of death and infinity comes from keeping ourselves occupied, every second, with substantial things. Substantiality, you see, this is the whole mystery.'

'I see, doctor, but I don't think this is the solution. Substantiality, ok. But how much? If we pile up our lives with too many deeds, there is not anymore space for thinking. I believe the problem resides there, in not making time for thinking about things, meditating. People only medidate when they are on their deathbeds.'

…”

Enjoy the reading!

The need to communicate

Today, I would like to tell you about communication. With only one addition, that this today refers also to tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and the future that awaits. For some years now, humanity has realized the importance of communication (far be it from me to consider that our ancestors had not grasped the importance of communication when painting the inside of caves). More so, humanity understood that there is an agreed modus operandi and it is best to calibrate its skills to it.

It seems to me that around me people are focusing on how the communication should be. Which is actually an honorable thing. And also the case for the growing interest of people towards learning the relevant information. I am really glad to see people making efforts in order to better communicate and trying new ways for their message to reach different types of public. Ever since internet has been included in our daily habits, we are able to access a lot of information about communication. Articles, videos, posts, on-line classes, trainings of all kinds invade our small or large screens in order to teach us new tricks, in-style tricks, older tricks that were forgotten and then rediscovered or readapted to the society we live in.

The emphasis is in solution. If you x, then y. It all sounds very tempting since we constantly find ourselves pressured by time. Still, when it comes to communication, things are a little different than the generally applied description ‘after only one spray of solution, the grease stain disappeared’. There is no such thing as universal solution for there are different needs in communication. Thus, in order to make sure that your communication needs are met, you will have to consider more than just one unknown element. Or, how I like to call it, you will have to consider transforming the unknown elements into somewhat known ones.

Whether we wish for it or not, sometimes the need to adapt makes us ready for it almost without an effort from our side. We are obliged, having so much information around, if not to apply, then at least to keep ourselves up to speed with what is new. And given that the interest is rising towards communication, we must align ourselves, too. Some are keen for assimilating and putting into practice all the theories they hear about, while others are eager to assimilate the information so that they can keep safe themselves from such theories. It all depends on how one sees things and on which side of communication one considers to be. But both categories will experience the same thing at a certain point – having to eloquently explain an idea. And thus the creative moment in communication appears.

I would not like to make an ample description of the communication techniques. Or, I won’t be making it now. But I must mention something, though. The most important thing in communication does not reside in techniques, no matter if they have been tried over and over again or they come in tens (for we know that number ten embodies perfection and humanity has been drawn to it since the dark ages).

If we want to make sure that we are in fluid communication with the others, we must firstly open up our ears. An Arabic saying beautifully highlights this: we were given two ears and only one mouth so that we could do more listening than talking.

To be willing to listen, and not to try to guess the things the person in front of us wants to utter and neither to make assumptions that since we know the person well, we can anticipate their communication needs. This is the source of true communication. Or, if you wish, it is a somewhat renouncing to prejudice regarding other people.

I wish you uninterrupted listening for a smooth communication!

97 years since Vlad Mușatescu was born. Vlad lives on!

I could not have let today, the 4^th of May, Vlad Mușatescu’s birthday, pass by like an ordinary day.

To properly celebrate him, here is below a fragment from volume number III from his “Approximate Adventures”:

‘…

At Tâncăbești, I was in the care of Penke, my wife - who obeyed to the letter the doctor’s recommendations regarding my regime- and was starting to feel much better. I was leading a normal life, without the stress of meeting impossible deadlines in publishing. I was eating lightly, mostly because I was afraid. That one of my veins would pop up in my body. Besides the ‘recovery treatment’, I would work daily. I would type away at my Erika, the typing machine, but not more than one or two pages. I was translating the ‘Mystery of the yellow room’ by Gaston Leroux, when I noticed that ideas of my own were starting to take flight, somewhat preceding the series ‘The detective Conan Doi’s Adventures’. So, I felt the need to give them more thought. I found myself filled with courage, and thus embarked upon marches. By foot, not by means of ‘Bombița’, my car.

Actually, even the doctor recommended them. Marches bring health and energy.

‘Where are you going to, master?’, Penke asked me, seeing that I took my walking stick.’ Are you tired from all that typing at your typewriter?’

‘Exactly, I am going for a walk…’

And I would walk quite a big deal. Sometimes for two hours. Firstly, I would visit the toilet at the back of the garden, where I kept two packs of Kent and tried out my lungs. Just to see how they kept up with the smoking. They were up to the challenge! Being glad that my respiratory system was in good shape, after having smoked two cigarettes, I would cross the fence to the backdoor neighbor. Where I would eat two or three meatballs. Then, I would continue the visiting and go to neighbor Bibi, who would always receive me with a glass of red wine. Then, I would go and visit uncle Igoras, another kind neighbor. He would always invite me to lunch. Since it was not nice to refuse, I would eat some of the goodies on his table.

Only when I got to Penke’s lunch, made according to the doctor’s recommendations, would I be able to feel full. And, after two or three weeks, when I visited the doctor, he congratulated me:

‘Well done! That’s the way to lead a rational life! Keep up the good work. Even though you have not lost a lot of weight, you are still within the limits calculated by me. Soon, you will have no worries regarding blood pressure, extrasystoles and that pulse of yours…’

Truly convinced by the doctor’s encouragement, I kept on going. Once in a while, I exaggerated. But to my own amazement, my weight was not increasing, and remained under certain stability. I could not grasp what was happening, knowing that I had sinned in every way. I was smoking a lot, sometimes I would eat even 5 meatballs, and whenever I got to the restaurant ‘The House of Writers’, I would eat 10 grilled mici (grilled meatballs). And these were just starters for tender pork chops.

...'