Still thinking about you, my dear Master!

Today, we celebrate 98 years since Vlad Musatescu was born. Let’s honor him properly by reading what he wrote, this time a fragment from ‘Approximate adventures’, the third chapter.

“…

Next day, dolled up in the lightest suit (from a color perspective, and not a weight one) to make sure I’ll raise my dear fellow’s spirits, I was getting aboard. The train. Specifically, in the dining car. There, I found the two, Franz and Titus, in the middle of an Ardeal-like feast (Ardeal is a region in Transylvania) drinking turt (an alcoholic beverage from the Satu Mare region, similar to palinka). They were happily talking as if they were on a trip to Haway.

‘Are you insane’, I tried speaking in an Ardeal-like manner, so to keep the atmosphere, ‘to drink this poison on an empty stomach?’

‘We are! And we also are broke… Meaning, no money at all!’, Munteanu informed me.

‘You should be ashamed of yourself! You haven’t said a word about this illness to me. Well, I’ll fix it!’

And I left looking for the chief of the dining car. When I told him that he had guests that represented the culture sector, he was dearly impressed and assured me that he will give us full support. I took a moment and mentioned the kind of support we needed, some piglet ribs (as tender and fat as possible) accompanied by pilaf and French fries.

In no less than five minutes, the chief came back to our table with the platter. After wishing us to enjoy the meal, he came closer to me and whispered at my ear:

‘Do you work in the small or in the big culture, if you don’t mind my asking? I am an agronomist myself. I work here because it pays much better and I can also see the country, free of charge.’

…”

The Big Secret

Let me tell you a secret. I complain. Yes, I complain. From time to time, I gather all my insatisfactions and things that did not turn out they way I planned, and feel sorry for myself. Oh, nobody's got problems like me (an exact quote from the movie The Odd Couple - if you haven't watched it, now it's high time to do it - when Felix tells Oscar that he hates himself, and Oscar replies: 'Neah, you don't hate you. You love you, you think no one else's got problems like you').

And I can neither blame myself for all of my problems, even though there are theories that support the fact that we attract what is coming our way. No, I strongly and respectfully disagree!
I do not attract people that are afraid even of their own shadow, people that do not understand the importance of a promise, people that step over dead bodies in order to have their purpose seen, people that have anger management issues, people that offend or talk nonsense, people that believe they know it all and that's why they do it all and don't let the responsible ones do their thing (so what if they have experience?! they are all a bunch of incompetents!), people that do not even trust themselves and thus it's impossible for them to trust others...

Seeing things from an objective perspective, sometimes it's a matter of making peace with what one has around and cannot control. One can only encourage oneself with the thought that they have done their share of the deal, and if things turned out differently than expected because one was not permitted to do it one's way, than the guilt must go elsewhere.

Moreover, I also do not agree with the idea 'What can I say?! It's always going to be like this. Wherever I go, I will have to deal with the same issues. I think it's better to stay put and endure, and maybe I could learn something from this situation. It is a lesson I must learn'.
No, this is not a lesson, it's pure madness that will only have one done with their senses, frustrated and never believing that one can achieve something. I'd even go far and say that it is a lack of care for one's loved ones - why would anyone want to subject them to a defeated soul spectacle?!
I guess, most of the times the solution is to burn the bridge that ties one to a certain situation or person that makes one feel stuck. To leave is the best lesson one could ever offer oneself.

Let us not forget that we can control some of the things. It's exactly how Eleanor Roosevelt put it: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Thus, let's complain for it's good to free ourselves from the devils emerged from so many frustrations. Let's complain and realize that we cannot stop some things from happening, and that sometimes we must calibrate our attention in order to move on. Just like in the lyric from this song: 'I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining'.
We will walk in the rain and we will get there, where we need to be. And we will arrive even stronger!

A lesson of humbleness

A lifetime ago, I was working as a secretary in a consulting company. The nine months I spent there were of great help. I learned a lot about who I am, how I would like to be and remain over the years, how a team looks like and how important it is to be at ease with your colleagues so that yourk work gives good results. Also, I learned important lessons about patience, integrity, responsibility, trust in one's own strength and capacity and modesty.

Thus, when I left there for another role in another company, I highly appreciated the team I had joined, a team with which I still keep in touch, even though there are about seven years since we no longer work together. I am proud of this. Some are not just as lucky to keep in touch with former teams. I must admit, my parents have been very keen about teaching me to observe certain principles, among which that of 'to leave room for hello (I paraphrased the Romanian saying; it means that even though the situation was unbearable, the people involved kept a professional attitude about it)'. But this is not the only reason for managing to keep in contact with former colleagues. I reckon that keeping in touch is a two-way street. Both parties try to stay in touch and so the relationship continues. Even though it is not at the same level as it used to be.

Coming back to the experience I was referring to at the start of this article, I was a main actor in an episode that I constantly go back to.
The cleaning lady at this company used to come a few hours earlier than us so that she could finish cleaning by the time we arrived at the office. One morning, she asked me if she could leave earlier. I asked if she needed help with something and she told me that she needed to hurry home because her daughter was supposed to go to school and since it had snowed a lot the evening before she had to take her daughter's pair of boots.
The image of the two, mother and daughter, sharing the same pair of boots can never be erased from my memory.

To this image I turn to anytime I feel like feeling sorry for myself or I offer it as parable to people who I think will not see it as offensive. I will not think of myself as superior and give you advice about how to live your life. But my experience so far (and that of those I've been blessed with having in my life) shows me that we tend to appreciate the things we no longer have and it is easier to make ourselves feel better if we should compare our lives to those who have it rougher than us. 

I don't draw conclusions, nor offer recommendations. I give you, in return, this lesson of humbleness that I received years ago. Let it guide you when you should think there is no way out!

The Portable Veblen - Elizabeth McKenzie

Oh, there are so many beautiful things to say about this book…

Aside from the fact that squirrels are special characters in this novel (well, you already know I love squirrels), this is surely a story anyone can relate to.

Veblen, a long-term squirrel obsessive, is going to get married to Paul, a neurologist. While trying to make sense of the things she must have at her wedding, Veblen’s emotional state starts to entangle as she tries to understand the message behind the appearance of squirrels, settle for a ring that does not quite suit her, and endure the whims of a narcissistic and hypochondriac mother.

Paul’s family, his disabled brother and parents, is not quite characterized by easy-going people either. Referring to their family as ‘the tripod’, Paul’s parents seem to have left a lot of holes in his emotional upbringing.

This story is an ode to anyone who has ever felt neglected or manipulated, constantly struggling to find or to keep their self-esteem at least at normal levels. I should say that it has a healing side to it, this book. Sure, a sense of closure can sometimes go that extra mile.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you thought you were magical? That you could see through things like no adult could? Well, Veblen can still do that, and she’s an adult. There is a sure thread of magic realism in this novel and those for a taste of it will surely enjoy it.

You’ll have a wonderful time while reading this book, I’m sure. And you’ll also have a couple of laugh-out-loud moments, that I can vouch for.

Good morning!

Here's an idea I've been carrying around for a while now. To tell you a story about the image above.
This picture I took is almost the perfect replica of a canvas my grandparents used to have in one of the rooms in their home. When I saw it, so proudly displayed on the wall of a very nice old cuisine restaurant, I was indeed very happy. And also grateful. And this because I did not have the chance to take a picture of it while my grandparents were still alive and nor did I think I could search it on the internet.

All these feelings were soon overcome by an avalanche of sweet memories and longings I did not think about for a while. They say that people become immortal through those that remember them, talk and think about them. 
Well, I do believe it. And I think that there are others who feel that way too; which is a good thing because sometimes it's hard to endure the thought that one is alone and misunderstood. 

'And why did I write these lines?', you would ask. Well, to share with you the feelings I get when I look at the image above. How a smell of morning envelops me (yes, of morning; and if you are skeptical, please remember the mornings your mother used to wake you up and call you for breakfast, and the herbal tea warmly touched your nostrils and conveyed a slight but sure feeling that you will manage to wake up; remember the mornings when you could not wait to go on trips or those when you were finally going to reunite with someone you were missing for a long time ... and many other such moments, that surely have left a strong impression upon you). Yes, it smells of morning and the air is so cold and fresh that it hurts when you breath it in, the rooster is crowing and the hens keep the tone. Azor, the dog, is barking, obviously upset of the fact that it does not get any attention, the door to the attic squeaks and then we can hear it closing and a shuffling of feet conveys the message that the eggs are done and grandma awaits for us at the table.

Many times I looked at the canvas and thought about the number of hairs in the toothbrush and the two vessels, how they all made almost the exact picture I could see on a table in a room from my grandparents' house. I knew that one could order portraits, and I wondered if people also ordered still life embroidered canvas.

I am sure that there are a lot of people who will find a sort of connection with this picture, too. To those of you I'd like to convey the following message: Good morning, don't forget to remember!

What do you want to be when you grow up

I’m still in that process. Well, I mean I am still learning, still developing my skills.

Can you honestly say that you’ve covered everything on your favorite subject of interest?

Well, I haven’t. And it’s totally fine. I love exploring, learning new things (it also goes for domains I had no interference with before), trying my limits.

I do not know – or maybe I have so many people to mention that I must dedicate an entire article in their honor – what made me like this. But I have always tried more, being curious, asking questions, and giving things a try just to see the outcome.

Speaking of I don’t know… well, that cup I received from a former student is always something that takes me back to my first ‘what ifs’, every time I look at it.

I guess it's all a matter of skills. Developing some old skills and acquiring new ones, that is. I never knew I had it in me to be a teacher. It's just that it happened and I enjoyed it, being around children, teaching them, playing with them (playing and learning, quoting here Ross on his childhood and playing with dinosaurs figures), and having fun. It was a skill that brought me to being a teacher, and so another one developed.

Years later, another skill brought me to the position of proofreader, and here a couple of skills emerged. It was not seeing my name on the cover of a book that made me think I want to be a writer; it was actually that great feeling one gets when one creates something, and releases it and sees afterwards that it brings joy and excitement to others. 

A writer needs to know that what she/ he writes is read. Whether it causes positive or negative reactions, it does not matter. The only fact that the written word is read and gets a reaction is what makes the writer believe that the creative process was not in vain and keeps her/ him writing (although the advice is to write, to send it to be published, to forget about it being read or not, being appreciated or not, and to write some more). 

I never knew I could sew. I saw it all the time in my home, my mom was doing it, my sister was doing it, even my father did it. I guess thread and needle were a thing back then. I wonder how many of us still use the thread in order to sew a button on a shirt, and not throw the shirt away and buy a new one (I guess that was the main subject of a play called 'Should we wash the kid or do we make another one?!'; I wouldn't know, I've never seen it). I guess it all started with an old pair of jeans that I could not afford to throw away. I made embroideries on it, and so I started making DIY projects (which I had no idea they were called like that back then). Afterwards, I started blogging, and one of them is dedicated to my DIY projects. 

The idea of this article was not to brag about the wonderful skills I possess, though you might be under that impression. I reckon that what I wanted to convey was the simple message that we should not limit ourselves. Skills may be acquired, and perfection does not exist. Or if you're clinging to that, each project can be perfect and thus it cannot be compared to others. 

So take this gift of time that we're given nowadays to think about your skills, about the things you once wished you did but just never got quite around to doing it, about what you can do, but most of it, about what you always thought you were incapable of doing and give it a mere try. 

Find and replace

While I was working as a proofreader in a publishing house, I had the chance to share my office with a very special lady, a professional, who was willing to share her knowledge. Maybe it is because of her that I learnt the most beautiful lesson of them all – if you know something, the best you can do is to share that knowledge, it’s this way that the circle is complete. And since I had years of experience being a teacher, her lesson touched fruitful land.

In life, I reckon it is important to find models, whether we search for them or not. Those Eureka moments are, without a doubt, chances for one to feel one’s brain alive, especially since it is a conscious way to meet it and see what those neurons are all about. Quoting Chandler, when do you ever feel your brain (of course, paraphrasing, because for that particular moment Chandler was referring to Joey’s ears – and yes, Friends series will always be a reference)?

Well, this particular lady I am referring to taught me a lot, much of the things being related to the errors that we make while writing or pronouncing: drawing pin (piuneză in Romanian), location (locație in Romanian), and the most important lesson of them all – find and replace command.

I always enjoyed Romanian classes, though I never was a brilliant student. But I must admit that, throughout the years, I have become somewhat of a Ross to the persons in my life. It came as a realization when I heard my husband, sitting in the dentist’s chair, saying the following: ‘Oh, I must correct what I have just said, otherwise my wife will judge me for this cacophony’.

Well, both drawing pin and location had been used incorrectly by me. Some people have it in them, that gentleness, in order for one to not be ashamed of oneself for saying something wrong. Something that encourages one to keep coming back with questions, concerns or curiosities. I absolutely adore these people. Rightfully, statues should be erected in their honor. This lady told me about the correct form of the aforementioned words, and ever since I have being correctly using those words even though I received funny looks.

I remember when everybody started using the word location. It sounded fancy and we all loved using it. But when I found out that in Romanian the meaning was rent, I started paying more attention to the words in fashion and always looked for guidance on the dexonline site. Again, paraphrasing our president – it’s better to be prepared than to not be prepared.

The greatest trick was when I found out about the command Ctrl + H (find and replace). Well, when you work with pages and pages in Word you better know some tricks. But aside from its main function, I do believe that sometimes find and replace can do miracles – giving one directions for cleansing. I guess everything can do with a little brushing up, whether it’s information or just simply replacing the old and not functioning anymore with the new.

I get it, sometimes I may go the extra mile and see things that are not exactly there due to my writing as vocation. But what if, starting from today, we put this command to great justice. Wouldn’t that be great to make sure we find and replace all those things that are not working for us anymore?!

I took an easy step. By starting with replacing coffee with Masala tea, I apply other criteria when buying books and starting exploring other domains (well, not quantum physics).

What about you? If you used this command, what would you replace and with what would make the replacements?